Forum

think before you speak

I have a friend who i have known for a long time usuallly pretty sensible but she blew it yesterday, went for a lunch with other friends asked if they could make sure i got to my car, they said is this your car , said yes but not for long as i am getting my new car with hand controls , answer well you will be able to put your heals as you dont need your feet to drive. came home and thought what is the point. Also had to listen to how they enjoy going to the gym yes i KNOW i AM OVER SENSITIVE.

I used to really enjoy the gym.Exercise made me feel so good. Thats not an option for me anymore due to my legs and diagnosis of spms. I’m still young and I feel whats the point too. Its hard but i have found coming on here a great help, people always give good advice and understand. Hope ur ok xxx

It’s hard to grin and bear it sometimes! :frowning:

About going to the gym: a group of us from my local MSS branch (Hillingdon) have started going a couple of times a week. The local sports centre does a discount for the disabled so it’s £2.60 a visit and carers get in free (and can use the machines too!). Some of us are in wheelchairs, some use sticks, some walk well. We are all really enjoying it and getting a lot of benefit. It’s a nice chance to socialise too 'cos we chat during and stop for a coffee afterwards. Maybe there are some MSers local to you who you could do something similar with? - then you can say that you are enjoying the gym too at the next lunch :slight_smile:

Karen x

Hi Trish,

It is exactly this sort of situation that leads MSers to become reclusive. People just don’t understand, they don’t mean to be insensitive I’m sure, they just see the world through their own window. I can see how not using feet controls on a car would lead your friend to the idea of heals – not remembering that heals are a thing of your past.

The only way to change this would be to bang on about MS and it’s effects all the time and who wants to do that? Sometimes it’s easier not to socialise with old friends because it’s just too difficult.

Jane

Hi Trish,

I try and get to the gym a couple of times a week its not easy times I really have to force myself I’m glad I do I always feel great afterwards.

I can’t do what others do treatmills cross trainers or anything thing like that there’s no way I did try them but I could barely walk out of there, I can go on the excerise bike but take it easy and I can use most of the machines the vibro plate for me is the best.

I know lots of people think cause I goto the gym my MS can’t be that bad but as you’ll know its not how you look yes its tuff at times but it gets me out I find if I don’t my fatigue starts to gym back :frowning:

I did use a wheelchair but for now I’m out of it I’d never take that for granted I’m just thankful for every day I can get out of my bed and don’t need it I count myself very lucky.

Just try and let what people like that say go over your head I know its not easy at times, Its at times like that you wish you could give them MS for a day just to see what its like.

I wouldn’t wish MS on no one there’s no one I hate enough to wish MS on but just for a day would let them know what it’s like.

Mark x

Hi, I sympathize, people can be very insensitive sometimes, I suppose we all do it really. Is it possible that the comment about the heels was really just meant more as a joke, you know, someone needing to make a bit of conversation and on the spur of the moment, said something that was meant to come across as positive and encouraging rather then insensitive. Anyway, good luck with your new car. I have hand controls and I can drive normally with them very easy and no stress about whether you can manage to drive safely. Cheryl:)

I do empathise and often experience the same with my friends- they just don’t get it. However I would hate to think they couldn’t talk about what’s going on with them in front of me, and feel like they were walking on egg shells around me. I do get left out of things but that’s because I cant physically do them, but I do appreciate being asked by them even if I do need to continually explain why I can’t. In a situation like yours I probably would have made a joke about the comment but my friends would realise they’d dropped a clanger. I find this the best way of dealing with it. I refuse to let MS rule my life. Ashlee X

thanks for all your replies. My friend belongs to a group that I have known for a long time and sometimes you hold onto friendships just for the sake of it.

Even if I was fit the group enjoy going out drinking and this has never been something that I enjoyed, my other friend was there also, she is my closest friend and knows exactly how things are, but she was not spared either she has recently gone back on shifts as previous job didn’t bering in enough , the friend with foot in the mouth said god what made you go back to shifts, as if she had a choice. Afraid friend with foot in mouth doesn’t have any money or health worries so basically doesn’t understand, guess she just looks out on life through her little window

I will learn to be a little less sensitive