Forum

The tyranny of the weak??

following on from the recent thread by Budica entitled ‘caring’…

We are all very aware of how we see our relatives, friends, colleagues with regard to our m.s.

But I wonder how they perceive us?

Do they see us as using our m.s. to get what we want?

Do others feel they have to be ‘careful’ with us because we have m.s?

Do some people dislike us because we have m.s. because they are uncomfortable with disability?

Are we seen as always whinging/moaning?

Are we a self centred lot obsessed with our m.s.?

Happy New Year!

hiya

happy new year to you too!

wow some food for thought!

to try to sum up-i havent lost any friends in 10 yrs since diagnosis. people i know are not in touch any more-thats life! family and real friends know that i am still me! ok-pi… and shi… and cant see so well, need a chair to move BUT my sense of humour still intact!

and yes-i am aware that i have a cruel incurable illness and am well aware what MAY be ahead (having lost folk close to me) but i havent yet mastered the art of predicting the future or reading others minds so i will continue to life in the now as i can!

someone known to my family has just taken his own life a couple of days after christmas-life is precious and i aint going to waste me wondering what others think! those that do matter already know what i think re them and ms and i know within reason what they think re ms and i know for sure what they think re me!

looking forward to reading other answers!

ellie

I read that as… ‘Tranny of the week’ ,thanks for making me smile, I’m kind of disappointed now that its not

Happy new year. I think one can over think things. Its a good quality to be able to see things from others perspectives. I personally am totally open and honest about my MS, and if I feel like i’m whinging then I probably am.

I think some people are fearful of disability, I don’t think they don’t like us. It challenges their ideologies maybe?

I’m sure that if we hold the flag of MS above your head in a negative way then thats what you will get back from others.

Good questions, as I try not to appear incompetent/struggling at work through fear of being judged. My colleagues are really good and let me get on with whatever I’m doing and if I need help I’ll ask for it, then they kindly oblige, but not had any negative feedback or bitching that I’m aware of.

I also don’t think we are self centred bunch, we do have a chronic disease to live with, so sometimes it may appear we are obsessed as we try to figure things out. The only time I’m MS obsessed is when I’m feeling its affects/sick. Then I come on this forum to share with people who understand.

Actually, I was speaking to my brother earlier and he said something about feeling like you are only just keeping your head above water in some social situations. Outwardly you look fine but beneath you are doing everything to keep your head above water. Anyway, that gave a cue to start waffling about MS…anyway, now I’m waffling (been in bed ill for 3 days, so its nice to cyberchat).

Nikki

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Just to add…Who gives a monkeys about what others think, we are the ones living every day with the sh*t disease. If they are judging us then it says more about them than it does us x

Having MS does not necessarily turn a person into a saint or a sinner, that’s for sure. A person who has always lived life calculating the angles and manipulating people and circumstances to his/her best advantage is likely to stay that way, with MS or without it. And a selfless paragon is likely to stay that way with MS or without it too.

I’m not saying that people can’t/don’t change - they can and do! - I’m just saying that they generally don’t change all that very much. Or so it seems to me.

Alison

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hi krakowian

well i certainly got what i wanted from my ms - my fancy purple, shiny walking stick!!

never mind what others might be thinking, stuff 'em!

zombie squirrel - i like the idea of tranny of the week!!

i was talking to my music mad son about when i was young (early sixties).

we used to take our trannies out and sit on the kerb with them.

now i obviously meant transistor radio but billy’s eyes were boggling!

actually i fancy that new film with eddie redmayne - the danish girl.

it’s about transgender issues

c xxxxx

Ooooh, that sounds like my sort of film Catwoman.

Transistor radio…ha ha, I always associated ‘trannies’ with transit vans and more recently transgender.

Well my good friends are still capable of telling me what a bitch I am (at times). So I don’t think any things changed there!!

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your tranny here Nikki!!

I agree Alison people generally don’t change although I well remember one work colleague who deliberately made life very difficult for me before she become seriously ill herself - I was discomfited when she wrote me a long letter asking for my forgiveness!


But my question was how do others see us - if we take the view ‘stuff them’ aren’t we being a bit self-centred?

Has anyone actually asked their relatives/friends/colleagues what they think of them - we may have a shock.

Cheers Marek (sometimes Mareka)

Hey Marek/a

I think perhaps I know in my gut that colleagues/friends and relatives see me differently, from some, their behaviour is slightly different to how it was before diagnosis. So yes I do think they have judged me, do I care, yes sometimes, disappointed but will just keep removing the negative ones from my life. Don’t need that crap.

Who is the tranny? Confused LOL

Nikki