Suffering terrible denial of symptoms - too scared to carry on trying to get help

Sorry i have posted so much since I joined. I was all set to drop my completed registration forms back off at the new doctors this afternoon, when I was suddenly overcome with such fear i didn’t know what i was doing. Since then I have been ignoring every symptom as if I have imagined it, I can’t seem to gain acceptance of what’s happening to me, even though things are getting really bad. I’m so afraid of being rejected by the new doctor after how i was treated by my current one, equally I find I’m terrified of the possibility of them taking me seriously and it being MS or something worse. I keep telling myself to stop being a wuss and that if it is MS, its only what I’ve been dealing with before, it just has a name but its not helping.

Am I being stupid? Or is this normal?

Hi Jules x you are not being stupid at all xx

If there is one thing I’ve learnt it is that this thing called ‘limboland’ is an absolute emotional rollercoaster - an emotional minefield - and all it takes to ‘shatter’ an already ‘shattered’ and brittle strength is an unthinking/unsympathetic comment/attitude from someone you have turned to for help x Everyone can understand the need to feel that you are being taken seriously - to feel that the people who have the control in this situation ie your doctors - are doing everything they can to help you x

Fear is NORMAL - it is far from STUPID - one the one hand everyone is terrified that it IS a serious illness

On the other hand - everyone is terrified that the cause WON’T be found and we are left to deal with the very real and debilitating symptoms

The only good outcome is if they find out exactly what it is and it can be treated simply and effectively! In the meantime all we can do is wait & worry x

I’m sure the lovely ladies & gents that have been on this forum for a long time have seen people like us come and go x some get their ‘full membership’ confirmed - others drift away after getting a different diagnosis - whilst some unlucky ones remain in this ‘limboland’ but bravely learn to deal with it the best they can xxxx

Take those registration forms in and hold firm & strong x you deserve to have the support from your doctor in order to find out what is wrong with you - in the end - hopefully me & you will be in the second group and whatever is wrong with us will be identified and dealt with xxxxjenxxxx

Thanks Jen, I think I just needed a push in the right direction… sorry this came out in 2 posts as well, i don’t know how to delete one, ermm…