Struggling with care

My husband is in his 70s and has SP. Have been coping at home OK, but things have become much more difficult over the last year. Now in a position where he needs help to get out of a wheelchair, into stairlift, bed etc and his legs have just about stopped working, holding his weight. I physically can’t lift him. He was in A & E earlier this year and a doctor phoned to ask about care, when he realised that we didn’t have any he suggested that we needed a Social Services Assessment and he would write to the GP. I phoned the GP today, the receptionist gave me totally incorrect information so basically I have been phoning around getting nowhere. I now know that I need a Social Services Assessment. So my question is: Do I get Social Services involved? Should I organise care directly? The MS nurse has an answerphone, waited a week for her to phone back and then managed to miss the call. I phoned back straight away but still have not spoken to her.


ring your local adult social care team. they will take your details and should arrange for your husband to have a care assessment. they can also help you apply for other things. I have had 2 now and its been a godsend. the last one they even organised me to have meals on wheels i had to pay half but they felt it would be better for me.

the first one i had some years ago they sorted out direct payments, OT the lot you name it they did it. they were great both times. we have paid over the years for this service, so please ring them you should have time now before the weekend if not monday. go for it. xxxx

also they can organise OT, and sort you out with a bed to help lift him up, hoists the lot. xxx


Hi Bonnie. Hope you get the carers you need and whatever else that can help you.

Kind regards

Go to social services as a matter of urgency and ask for carers and mobility gear. You can be injured by lifting your husband. Ask for an assessment for both of you. I worked in a care home for two years and was my girlfriend’s full-time carer. You need professional help.

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I hope you are ok Bonnie and managed to get support. It’s scary when things progress, even when you know it will. Nothing prepares you somehow for the reality, at least that’s how I feel. My partner has been on a hospital ward for 7 weeks, and still not home. There is limited visiting due to Covid, and before that we spent all our time together, shielding. We were just about managing before he went into hospital, but only just. When he’s home we’ll have 2 carers 4 times a day, hospital bed, other equipment. Our lives, and home, will be totally different. They already are. I’m scared of losing a life of my own, but I don’t want to be on my own. We are better off together. Its lonely at the moment, but at least he is getting well enough to use the phone, so we can chat more. Lots of you must be going through this. Coping and living with the inevitable progressions, with someone you love x x


Hi Bonnie. How are things now sweetheart? It’s been a while since I was on here. So I’m catching up with posts.
I’ve had PPMS for 24 years. Hubby did it all for 11 years by himself. Had a variety of agencies and PAs. We really struggle now when both are off together, like recently. One went to Spain for a much needed holiday. The other was covering her shifts, but then got covid!
Hope you are coping xx

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