My sister was diagnosed about 3-4 years ago with relapse and remitting MS. Since then she has had a few relapses however she never seeks the right support. I am very concerned about her, naturally. She has an MS nurse whom she never sees, and only sees her consultant a couple times a year. She has never sought help from the local MS society – which I can understand as I am sure that it can be very distressing to see others with the same disease worse than she is.
She also suffers bipolar. So her mental health isn’t great at times. She recently began cutting her wrists and had a couple of stays in a mental health home for a night, however her mental health seems to be ok just now.
She has a full time job in sales which he does love but struggles with due the fatigue and it requires a lot of driving about. She recently now has began having problems with her urinary continence.
I obviously care and worry about her, however I feel that I am stuck. She consistently texts me saying how she cant cope anymore and about how tired she is and about how her life is “so awful” and “so sad”. I have spent the last 3-4 years encouraging her to be as healthy has she can be (she is over weight), and she has recently started swimming again, but its not consistent. She doesn’t eat well which means then she is weaker and tired. I have tired to encourage her to keep snacks in her drawers so when she is in bed and wakes up hungry she can have a snack but she wont do it. She has such a defeatist attitude and its starting to take its toll on me. I feel as if I give her advice and she never takes it. She is her own worst enemy.
I have been so understanding – without being patronising- and I really do feel for her as MS is an awful disease. But it is so hard to try and be around someone so negative. She continuously refers to how she’ll be “in a wheelchair by the times she’s 60”. I have my own health issues at the moment – I had a preventative double mastectomy 4 months ago, and am now having my ovaries removed. And I feel that I am stuck between a rock and a hard place – I want to support her the best I can but I feel as though her issues are intrusive on my own life. She is very dependant – text me all the time about how crap she feels her life is, I wonder if she would so this is I was married with kids?? I cant just drop everything every time she needs me. She only has a handful of friends, who all have kids and partners, she is on her own. I feel responsible for her.
I know I must sound so selfish and mean. I don’t mean to. Its just I feel so stuck. I have began to feel as though I do not want to be around her at the moment.
Does any one else ever feel this way?