Can only sigh with recognition at all of this.
Even my MS nurse has come out with something like: “Yes, but on a good day?” before.
What are these “good and bad days” I’m supposed to have?
It is fairly stable - stably crap.
Tomorrow will be approximately as crap as today. It’s not up and down like a yo-yo.
Yes, I have had occasions - not many - where things changed dramatically for the worse overnight (i.e. a relapse).
But in general, tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day.
I’m not going to wake up suddenly feeling as if I didn’t have MS. On the evidence of the past five years, I’m probably not going to wake up suddenly and find anything major has stopped working - although I shall always retain that delightful possibility, no matter how many years have passed without it happening.
I haven’t relapsed often, but when I have, it hasn’t been a bad day, or a bad few days, but a bad bloody year. And I wasn’t “completely fine” afterwards, but ever so slightly more crap than the baseline level of crap (which, for all practical purposes, has ALWAYS been there).
Baseline crapness IS increasing, but not in the form of obvious relapses, and probably not fast enough to be SPMS, either. Just very, very, stealthily. I said to my neuro it’s like ageing, but too fast, and he said that’s actually not a bad analogy, as it has some features in common with that.