Received a useless present.

In fact it’s a fantastic present but I can’t use it. For our 30th wedding anniversary, Hubby and I were given tickets to go on a Duck tour on the Thames in London. The tickets are valid for ages and it looks great. But since receiving it I have lost my right arm and leg and am constantly fatigued. We got it last year and the relapse hit after we received it. I feel an absolute ar$e but I have to give my ticket to my sister so hubby and my sister can go. But it was a wedding anniversary present…how do I tell my friends who gave it to us? I can’t! I am planning to pretend it was me that went, not my sister. I can show them the photos but I won’t be in them. Poxy MS! Pat


Every year since I have known her my sister-in-law has got me some useless presents or stuff that is just not me and rather than let it lie i have gave them to charity or in last years case to my sister, like the umbrella nice umbrella but i can hardly keep myself upright never mind the brolly, anyway sister-in-law met sister and was annoyed that she had it, the problem is my sister-in-law doesn’t see what is in front of her plus never asks after your health as she is too busy talking about herself. She didnt say anything to me but i decided to state the obvious and tell her how things where and a box of sweets would be fine. You may have to be truthful with your friends it is one of these things as you say poxy MS.

I was going to say it worked but no local MS charity still getting the stuff, but some folk get it , however had to say to sister got it a few years back and i dont see her as ofter as sister-in-law due to my mother-in-law’s ill health

good luck

A thought - could you not contact the ticket seller, explain the circumstances and ask for an extension on the date? Who knows, you might recover sufficiently well to be able to go in 6 months time.

Similar situation with us, and the company agreed to extend. I think it was Red Letter Day, but not sure.

(What is a Duck Tour btw?)

you know you hit it on the head sister-in-law does buy me gifts that she likes , also laughed at your spell check, I have been called many things but not trash hee hee, maybe you could extend it worth a try, or put it up for action good luck

I’d be wary of fibbing, in case you’re caught off-guard one time, and it comes back to bite you in the bum! Your friends might be more put out about the (attempted) deception, than about you being forced to donate the ticket, for genuine but unavoidable reasons they could not possibly have foreseen.

I do agree with the others about not being too hasty to part with the tickets, though. If they have long validity, and it might be possible to extend it still further by explaining the circumstances, it’s possible you might get lucky and recover enough to go.

Imagine the frustration if, having given them away, you realise you could have used them after all.



I would give two pieces of advice here…

  1. You could just go, instead of believing you can’t, just go and enjoy it for what it is. Your ability to sit and be driven around London hasn’t diminished because you can’t walk or have had a relapse, drink and eat less for the day or two beforehand and make sure you go the bathroom just before you set off and you never know…it might be a fantastic experience to share with your hubby.

  2. If you don’t go, make sure the gift giver knows you didn’t go and the reasons why you couldn’t. Despite her apparent ignorance of your difficulties it’s your fault if you never try to educate her on the mistake she has made. Better to explain why you couldn’t go in the hope she remembers for the future.

Either option requires tough love…all you need to decide is which one of you needs it.

Are you absolutely sure you can’t, or will never be able to go? Wait a while and see if your health improves so that you can. Explain to your friends why you’re not going straight away and that you want to feel well enough to enjoy it.

But if the worst happens and you really can’t face it and have to give the ticket away, be honest and tell them. For goodness sake don’t lie about it, you will surely get found out. And it’s not worth the effect that would have on your friendship. They’ll understand.

I think I’d wait it out and see if I got any better. I’d explain to the friend why I wasn’t going right away and if I hadn’t improved coming up to the expiry of the tickets, I’d ask the giver of the tickets if they would like to go instead.

No need to get caught up in elaborate lies. Just be honest.

Hi Pat, yes it does sound great. I’d explain to the people who gave you the gift that you can’t use it just yet but are keeping your fingers crossed. I really hope that you get to go.



I really think you should tell the people that got you the present that at the moment you are unable to use it, even though you would love to. Ask them if they would like to use it and if not would they mind if you passed it on to someone else who you think would love it.

As useless presents go, I think the one my partner got from his brother for Christmas a couple of years ago will top the lot…Glow in the dark toilet paper!!! It even has a warning on the packet that the stuff that makes it glow in the dark can transfer to skin!!! My partner thought it was a joke and a ‘real’ present would be in the bag, but no, that was it. He was really pleased this Christmas when he got the usual shower gel set