Hello everyone, Please read as there is a good question at the bottom of this post. I just got so fed up with us being overlooked, (not so much us but our little one who has hardly been taken out and gerard cannot do this anymore its taking its toll on him) Twice in two years OHs family have taken our youngest the other 3 times we have managed to take him ,yet other family children who have more able bodied parents and more relatives have gone out more. I was so fed up that our youngest kept being ignored and the odd sarky comments on facebook i erupted… I gave a bleak message on facebook the other week not just to my lot (family) but to OHs aswell. Got a response from my lot, they took little one for the weekend and gave me and gerard a break. Wow sometimes it pays to shout. My sister was cold towards me (can’t care anyway as she never rings its always me ringing her and if my results come back soon can’t say i am going to ring her. Funny that as i worried about her results for a biopsy and rang her and me and gerard went into essex (long drive from where we are) and visisted her in hospital. Anyway, it was a long overdue break and i got to see a sister and nieces i have not seen in six months, don’t get me wrong i have used public tranpsort to get to her six months ago in the snow, and she moaned that WE don’t go to see her. Well she works in the afternoons, what the hell am i supposed to do. Just feel sorry for other kids who get overlooked and left out just because their parents have a condition, i think families should offer now and again. It occured to me the other day some people winge about being under pressure well some people WILLINGLY put themselves under pressure example ;- they really moan about the new car and how much its costing, well nobody asked you to buy it if the old one was working ok. Other people have life threatening and dibilitating conditions they did not ask for but they’ve got to deal with it. How do you handle your anger at other people… i feel like saying to other people…well at least you got your health… would that work ? sorry but i needed to rant oh by the way OHs family sisters not speaking to me… no loss …they didn’t bother with us. Gerard says my ranting at family could alienate family… I had to laugh because i said it was BECAUSE THEY ARE ALIENATING US I RANTED IN THE FIRST PLACE… I am in hospital myself next week and gerard does not know yet, cystocopcy. I am very worried. I did not go into detail but mentioned this, no response from my sister at all. Not a care in the world. Her health is fine. I do know this about her as i have been told. Well thats families for you. Fingers crossed my results come back ok. Oh how bitter am i today ?. Best of luck and love to you all love from sandra and gerard.
Sorry you are having a rotten time with your family. I’m sorry I’m not sure of your situation but it does sound a bit unfair. I know how you feel as I have two small children and no family support either, I’m up at 5.30am every morning with them and am on the go until 8pm, it’s exhausting and no one, bar a few kind friends who give me the odd hours rest here and there, offers to help me out. I’ve stopped expecting it to be honest. I hope some good can come from your rant, at least they know how you are feeling now! Better to get it off your chest and out in to the open. I hope your trip to hospital next week goes well
Really hope your rant made you feel better sandra it always works for me. Don’t think your bitter just needed to get it out and there is nothing wrong with that!!! Tracy x
Rant ON!!! Sometimes you have to SHOUT to be heard. I think as a class we MS’ers are too backwards in coming forward, e.g I just got home from shopping and my neighbour called out ‘How are you?’ I should have said, ‘I am exhausted - could you give me a hand getting these bags indoors?’ What I said was ‘Oh very well thanks, and you?’ Thicker than a very thick thing is thick 'cos when I got indoors I fell on the floor and it took 10 minutes to get up again! But will I learn … Nah, not likely! Sometimes family have to be made to see the truth behind the smiles and the fear in the eyes when we try to carry on regardless. Your family deserve a very loud WAKE UP!!! call. Clarexxx
Hiya - how are people going to know that you need help unless you tell them? We expect others to be as unblinkered as us, but it’s just not the case - they need told, and if ranting is the only way to get through to them, then so be it! Clare, the nice man from Tesco takes the shopping into my kitchen for me, then it’s just a matter of putting it away (just!) - don’t know who delivers your shopping, but they should take it into the house for you. I got very frustrated with my friends a few weeks ago - my husband died last year, my mother the year before, my father doesn’t talk to me (no idea why) - the people who help me are my brother and a couple of friends (but I try not to ask them - they have their own lives to lead) - there are a few people who I thought were very good friends, but I haven’t heard from them since before I moved house in May, so I put a rant up on facebook, but because I didn’t include any names, it was the wrong people who responded to it - the ones who it was directed at did not respond (how surprising). I don’t have any children, now I don’t have a husband - I’m in my own little club, membership 1. It is incredibly difficult to ask for help, to admit defeat when you can’t do something, eg I had a go at mowing the lawn not long after I moved to this house, I got about 1/8 of it done before I couldn’t walk, and people gave me into trouble for trying to do it - but I had to try, I might have been able to do it! (maybe in a different dimension?). Now I pay someone to do the garden. Anyway, right now, I’m feeling another rant coming, but I don’t think it’ll do any good - I have contacted these friends, and left the ball in their court, it’s up to them if they contact me or not, meantime, I’ll just be ignoring them, not that I think they’ll notice, but hey, if they don’t have time for me in their busy child-filled days, so be it. Luisa x
I had to cut off from most of my family and friends, I was always the strong one that sorted everyone elses problems for them, but when i became ill no one wanted to know,so i found it better to just cut off from them, at least theres no arguments now, i just live in my own world,and dont have to answer to anyone,its not an ideal situation but i think its the right thing to do for me,i am not bitter,just sad, that it has to be this way, i dont have 1 person to talk to when i need to let off steam,because i lost my husband, my best friend, 15 years ago.and although i am with a partner now, he hasnt a clue how my MS affects me.
lals02 wrote:
Clare, the nice man from Tesco takes the shopping into my kitchen for me, then it’s just a matter of putting it away (just!) - don’t know who delivers your shopping, but they should take it into the house for you. Luisa x
Ah, but the nice man from Sainsbury delivered all the heavy stuff yesterday when my OH was here to fetch and carry, but I’m very particular about my fruit and veg so went to the co-op this morning and wore myself out. The nice taxi man brought ther stuff to the door but they aren’t allowed to cross thresholds (& I thought that was just vampires! :lol: ) Clarexxx
Quote:
Ah, but the nice man from Sainsbury delivered all the heavy stuff yesterday when my OH was here to fetch and carry, but I’m very particular about my fruit and veg so went to the co-op this morning and wore myself out. The nice taxi man brought ther stuff to the door but they aren’t allowed to cross thresholds (& I thought that was just vampires! )
Ok, I see - maybe you got a vampire taxi driver (everybody has to earn a living somehow, even the undead, haha!), did you notice if he sparkled in the sunshine? 
Don’t know if there is a solution for you if you’re going to insist on being all independent and doing shopping by yourself! :roll: Luisa x
lals02 wrote:
Ok, I see - maybe you got a vampire taxi driver (everybody has to earn a living somehow, even the undead, haha!), did you notice if he sparkled in the sunshine?
Yeh, go figure! :lol: :lol: :lol: Clarexxx