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rant! But I am sure this has happenned to us all

Conversation in my workplace yesterday.

Miss X: How are you?

Me: OK. Struggling a bit today tho - just feel so incredibly tired

Miss X: Everyone feels tired at this time of year, so that’s not your MS is it.

Me: (Walks away before saying something I might regret)

It is so tempting to go off on one after a comment like that! Be the better person…be the better person…!

hi

this reminded me of some things that have been said over the last month, firstly friend comments on my news that i am now having to change my car for hand controls, oh you will be able to wear your heals again she said , at the time thought what plantet are you on. Yesterday when i was in the CAB there is a woman who has latched onto me, she isn’t the brightest discussing how her mum had , had a stroke i said oh that is a shame , next comment ah she is not as bad as you, and i thought i was doing fine, I laughed after but maybe i am expecting more from friend but guess it is a case of mouth in gear brain ten feet behind

and yes we all need a rant

I’ve had just the same with age (I’m only 45 - NOT ancient!)

“Oh, it’s normal to feel tired at our age - it must be hard for you to tell whether it’s MS or not?”

OK, I admit, in the early days, before diagnosis, I did manage to dismiss a lot of it as age, hormones, stress, and all the rest of it.

But now, I feel distinctly ill - it has gone well beyond trying to pass it off as stuff everyone has. So no, I don’t find it hard to tell I’m ill, and not just that I’m 45. Who else is creaking around like an old hag, at 45? I never tell myself: “It might be normal” - it’s flippin’ obvious it’s not (even to me, who took ages to catch on). Nobody feels this rough, just from being 45.

Tina

Tina…, me (although I AM much older than you… 48!). I must however add that I find the response to discrepancies like short-term memory, concentration, etc. (let’s say cognitive issues) worse. I (think I) can handle the ‘visible bit’, however cannot handle at all to be regarded as an idiot at times because of aforementioned shortcomings!

…I meant ‘discrepancies WITH’ (I forget to concentrate at times…)

it makes you want to cry when people say things like that doesnt it…

ive had (after having a day off work as I was struggling) ‘you cant have days in bed when youve got kids you know’

or I was called a lightweight after saying I couldnt stay any later at work as I needed to sleep …it was 9pm and id been at work since 8.30 am

Hi, totally annoying and it makes you feel so inadequate! i’ve recently started using my stick when out on my own (as i don’t know when i might stumble and fall, good eh!) and I have noticed how I have become a ‘dear’ in some shops! i know this flipping disease is here for good and will only get worse (i have spms) but as others have said i am only 44 and it is not my time to feel like this (if you know what i mean, i feel somewhat cheated by life!) My dad (who is 80) asks how I feel and then has every symptom I have (sometimes worse!) and doesn’t seem to remember that 37 years go he felt fine and went running every day and played squash, something I would love to be able to do! Todays moan over, feel better already (if only lol x) Lilbill x

Yes, be the better person. These folk who know nothing about MS (.how can they if they have no reason to find out) aren`t worth wasting your precious thinking energy on!

Look after yourself and make sure you get plenty good quality me time, eh?

luv Pollx

My Mum amazes me when she attempts to ‘compete’ with my symptoms and totally forgets the fact that she was perfectly able-bodied at age 46. People can be so thoughtless and inconsiderate about this disease can’t they? Teresa xx

I’ve been using my stick every day for just over a year, I also have become “dear” and perhaps mentally infirm - I’ll be 37 next month. I’ve just ordered a mobility scooter so that I can give the dog decent walks, and I don’t want to even imagine what kind of comments/attitudes that’s going to generate! I try not to talk about the disease much - if anyone asks, I’m fine. At work, there is a lady who had leukaemia a few years ago - she’s ok now, but quite forthcoming, everybody knows all about it, so I just keep my mouth shut. There will always be somebody who has something worse than you, and there will always be somebody who “knows what you’re going through” - some of these people are fools and are to be pitied (to paraphrase Mr T, haha) - smile, say thank you and get away from them.

Luisa x

Oooh, yes!

Mine does this too. She’s 72, and has only recently begun to experience any health or mobility issues, after a bad break of her ankle, last Spring.

One time, I must confess, I actually snapped at her: “Just be thankful you got to 72 without anything serious happening! Now imagine you were like this at 45!”

I don’t know why, but she just doesn’t think. Every phone call is about her and her illnesses. Last time, she even began: “I haven’t told anybody else this…” (i.e. my brother and sister) before reeling off the current list of complaints. Why does she think I’m the right person to burden with it? Does she think I haven’t got enough damn health problems to think about?

Why doesn’t she choose a member of the family who isn’t ill, to regale with it all?

Since I was diagnosed, she’s even got herself convinced she has MS. Although there is a family history, we know that it’s on Dad’s side; no blood relative of Mum’s at all!

To be honest, even if she did have MS (I’m positive she doesn’t), if she got to 72 without noticing, she isn’t doing badly, is she?

/Sigh

Tina

x