Love it!
Pollx
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Just wing it, what’s the worst that can happen?
Polly
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Dear Abigail
You have just confirmed the commonly held belief that all psychiatrists have as a requirement of entering the profession that they themselves be certified as utterly bonkers (I believe that is the correct phrase?)
As far as the etiquette vis à vis bedrooms for consenting adults of whichever gender, I suspect that unless one of you is actually currently married or in an exclusive relationship with another person, then advising ones host is best. And in case of adulterous relationships, then sneaking around is generally the best way of getting up close and personal with ones current ‘amour’! Just ensure you lightly tap on the correct bedroom door, ending up in bed with the hosts’ ageing parents is best avoided at least this has always been my experience. Take it from me, it is extremely embarrassing, particularly the next morning over the breakfast table.
Sue
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Polly. If you had a jaundiced ear to the ground you’d be familiar with the notorious case Crown vs Durer 1986. My son never will I can assure you! Which probably explains his current state of bemused bafflement or “bonkers” as Sue so concisely puts it.
Thank you Sue, I knew I could rely on your breadth of experience given your advanced years. And that the subject is “just up your street”, to coin a cliche. Perhaps you’d like to pop round to exchange photos/videos one evening now the nights are drawing in.
Abi & Daphne xx
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Dear Abi and Daphne
May I say what a delightful name Daphne is? I’m not flirting you understand, just commenting!
Obviously the subject under discussion is not, ahum shall I say, outside my experience. So I should be delighted to ‘show and tell’ as the year draws in. Clearly the evenings are as yet too light for the necessary slide show. So such a soirée would perhaps have to wait until the Autumn, but I’m sure I could rustle up a suitable ‘date’ for such an evening.
Yours
Sue
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‘Advanced years’ ? with reference to our Sssue…she isn’t of advanced years compared to this particular OAP!!
Hope she didn’t take umbridge at that comment!
Ay, here’s a joke for you on this thread’s subject…
A plump lady was at a comedy night, when the comic turned his and the rest of the audience’s attention to her and said…
‘Allo luv. I know it is very rude to ask a lady her age, so I would never wish to embarrass a lady, by asking her age. Don’t worry luv, I wouldn’t dream of asking your age, but just how much do you chuffin weigh?’
Good, innit?
Pollx
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You naughty, naughty girl. Daffer’s taken quite a shine to you already.
I hope you don’t find “big boned” women unattractive. Actually “clinically obese” would be a more accurate description. You should also be aware of her various prosthetics (she’s getting on a bit now), but still reasonably good value for money between her fifth and ninth gin. It sounds like you’ll get along famously.
I’ll drop you a line when her infection(s) clears up.
All the best,
Abi.
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Dear Abi
Are you absolutely certain your ‘new girlfriend’ is in fact a real person and not in fact a plastic mannequin doll, perhaps acquired from an ‘everything must go’ sale from a store which specialised in clothing for the big boned girl?
If she’s actually a real person she sounds perfect to me, with perhaps a proviso that she is in fact certified as infection free. You can’t be too careful in these days of antibiotic resistant infections.
In fact, if she is in fact some variant of doll, maybe just the purchase of some antibacterial wipes would help with the infection(s).
Sue
Hi girls,
I’m sorry about that. The men have taken Mum back to Home now so things should quieten down a bit. I hope she hasn’t been bothering anyone too much while I was down the chemists.
She’s been on some new medication and we don’t know what if there any side effects yet. You didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary did you?
Must dash; Front room looks a mess. It looks like an explosion in a balloon factory. Bits of rubber hanging everywhere.
And a funny smell.
Oh no
Not again …
This thread is awesome !!! I would comment but people tend to get righteous at mo. Where exactly are you kissing your marmalade ? Next you’ll be onto twiglets.
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Fan mail !
eeee eckythump, I dooont knooow wot to seh! (said in my very best Yorkshire accent)
Tha`s gone chuffin nuts tha knooows!
pollx
I knew you’d be pleased.
I appriciate good stoopidness… 
And me Ducks, I am tittering whilst nosebagging my Stokey oatcake!
Is that legal nowadays?
Must try everything once!
Oo, in the newsagents there is a small black and white 2017 Almanac on the shelf. Haven’t seen one for years.
It says the reader can ‘Look up special days’ that must mean there will be more than one next year, definately something to look forward to. I would have bought it if it wasn’t 3 pound 50.
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I can tell you about a few special days next year and I wont charge you a penny!
-
1st October…my birthday…64…when I`m 64 etc
-
25th December…Christmas Day
-
25th March…our 45th wedding anniversary
will that do you for nowt?
pollxx
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24th January 2017, my 50th birthday!!! Yikes
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