i have only been on sick leave for the last 6 weeks as i was terrified of not working (and how i would pay the bills)
but knew at some stage i would have to. my partner has also been ill so was unable to work either.
i have had diagnosis of fibromyalgia, likely ms, ME/CFS and the " its all in your head " label.
every day i would come home from work i would just either just sit or go to bed, i had no quality of life and no time for my family., (fatigue being one of the worst symptoms) i was moody, snappy and just wanted to be left alone to rest. it doesnt matter how much sleep/rest i got, the fatigue just didnt go away and its still there to a degree although the winter is better for me. (the heat makes me feel much, much more fatigued.)
in the last 6 weeks i am a much nicer person to be around and just to know that if i want to have a lie down, i can, if i dont feel up to doing the housework, i dont have to. its an amazing weight off my shoulders but the decision to give in was very difficult as it was a job i loved and also a job where i could pretty much do as much or as little as i felt up to most of the time.
today ive just had a walk to town (ten minutes away) i could afford to chat to people, i could afford to walk through the castle grounds and feed the ducks/geese
(although one was pecking at my leg which led me to make a swift exit out of there)
what im trying to say is that the very little energy i had wasnt used up at work, it was me time and i think i deserve it.
i can relate to what you say about going pale though, i know it shows on my face like that when ive overdone it and people have asked me if im ok as ive gone pale.
so, i would definitely recommend taking time off, fatigue is awful and sometimes even holding a conversation is too much effort.
its taken me a long time to accept my limitations but now i am in a much better place physically and emotionally.
i still dont know how i will manage financially but thats a bridge i will have to cross when i get to it.
i hope you will get some answers for your partner and that he will get to the stage of accepting his limits and know that his body is trying to tell him something and that its usually best to listen and just rest as much as possible. i hope you find something to make the pain more managable as that will only interfere with sleep and make the fatigue even worse.