I strongly suspect that I have MS and am an emotional wreck right now. I don’t really expect to find any answers here but I thought talking might help me to cope. I’m self employed and not getting much work done lately because I just keep bursting into tears, I’m just so scared and need to get a grip
Let me start by saying that I’m not a hypochondriac, I rarely go to the doctors but I knew I had another auto-immune disease before and was right, I just have a sinking feeling, I feel I’ve always known but was in denial and I know somethings very wrong.
It started a couple of years ago when out of the blue I had horrific bladder pain, it was debilitating, I couldn’t go out, I couldn’t sleep but despite this the doctors didn’t take me seriously, it took 10 months of agony before I finally got to see a urologist by which point the pain had almost gone and I was just left with annoying increased urgency which I still have today. The urologist did a few tests and said there was nothing physically wrong and that I had an over active bladder which I was prescribed pills for. I strongly believe that the pain was my first attack and that my overactive bladder is a consequence of the nerve damage that was caused.
Anyway once the pain had gone, I put it to the back of my mind and just prayed that it was a one off and hoped that my bladder symptoms would improve, but to be honest I think how I am now is as good as it will get. The past couple of months I’ve begun getting pain and pressure behind one eye that comes and goes and no medications seem to help. I’m at the point now where probably 50% of the time I have this pain and it does sound like the type of pain that some people get with early MS. On top of that I’ve had a couple of instances of soreness of the skin on the back of my arm, like bad sunburn but there’s nothing there and once a feeling like someone was squeezing my leg tightly, I even had to look under the covers to check there was no-one there lol Typically when I woke up today I was free of eye pain, what’s the betting that when I go to the doctors about it, it will be behaving that day!
I just know it’s MS, my other half thinks I’ve just googled too much but thats not it, I feel like I’ve just stopped ignoring the symptoms now and I’m finally facing upto it. It scares the hell out of me, my gran had MS and was wheelchair bound for her whole adult life, I don’t think I could bear it and I don’t want my partner to be my carer, if he sticks around, which i’m fairly sure he would. I don’t want that life for him, he deserves so much more. I’ve booked a doctors appointment for friday but after my experience with my bladder issues I’m so scared they’ll just fob me off. I’ve made a list of my symptoms so I don’t forget anything but will this make me look like a hypochondriac? I remember one GP told me off for using an emergency appointment for my bladder pain, I just broke down in tears, I couldn’t believe that they thought my pain was nothing and didn’t deserve help, what if they don’t listen to me again? What do I do then? I just want to get the tests that I need and know for sure so that I can get the help that I need.
Sorry this has turned out to be long, but it has helped just to tell someone, I’ve stopped crying now! Any advice of how to deal with the GP would be much appreciated.
Thanks in advance x