Not going out sitcom is the reality for me

I love the Lee Mack comedy NOT GOING OUT

Unfortunately it has become a reality for me. I won’t eat out anymore. Going to restaurants or tea rooms because I usually end up wearing more food than I eat and unless I am being paid to provide entertainment to fellow dinners I am not going to be the source of smirk s and laughter. I eat fish and chips in the car or on a bench away from prying eyes. And anyone who has read my blogs will know I eat bacon sarnies from the snack bars around the area but they to are eaten in the car.

MS has made me a bit of a recluse but Heather is going out with her aunt and uncle to a local pub for lunch. I won’t go these places are often not disabled friendly in the 1700´s when the pub they are going to was built I doubt disabled people ate out nor did many restaurants exist on the second floor.

I may be the looser but it has been a conscious decision that I am comfortable with so me and Lee Mack are not going out.


I tend to sit with my back to the room whenever possible, although my natural tendency is to sit facing a room. I’ve started to cut up my food and eat using the fork in my right hand, there’s less chance of missing my mouth that way. Oh the joys of MS.

I watch Dave and they show a lot of Not going out and Would I lie to you which also has Lee Mack.

Have a good day.

Jan x


Hi Don

Reading this I so relate with being embarrassed about eating out for the same reason.

The ms nurse put me on propanalol for tremor, and although it hasn’t made it go away, I do think it is am improvement (this could be just wishful thinking on my part) at least it has made me feel a tad more confident. Do you think it may help you?

After saying that Don, you can’t beat fish and chips in the paper!

Wet and very windy here in Gloucestershire today, hey ho.

Pam x

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I think we should form a ‘Not Going Out Club’.

I’m too damned tired to get dressed let alone go out.

If it wasn’t for the internet I’d starve to death.

Pat xx


Lol I love you guys

I am in bed as I type this and Heather is out with her Aunt and Uncle

I have been fast asleep all morning and when I was awake enough

To take my tablets I dropped them

It’s not anything really but I can’t sit up to find them without help

And Heather isn’t here.

Blowing lots here in Margate the house is shaking.



I’m with you on that Don sometimes its too much trouble after years of being embarrassed by the autistic members of the family there are some places that I wouldn’t go to, particulary now i’m in a wheelchair …now that i can’t run out of the place quickly believe me wev’e had some experiences that weren’t great and places we will never go to again!

sometimes the nicest thing in the world is cuddling up in bed watching a good film.

Michelle x

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I’m going out for dinner for my friend’s Birthday tonight - I am already dressed ready to go and sat here ready…hubby picked the same day to go out so he made sure I was all sorted before he went off to catch the bus! Everything needs meticulous planning.

Rob’s last question before leaving “will she make sure you get in out of the house OK?”

Me “Yes, she’s coming early as I need to give her a Christmas present”

Rob “when she drops you off?”

I think you get my drift Yes, this is the first time I’m seeing her this year and we’re going to the pub with parking right by the door and they’re used to me and they do loads of gluten free options.

METICULOUS planning really takes the fun out of going out.

Sonia xx

ps. love that show and probably watch way too much telly now


We went out for a meal with friends a couple of nights ago, the first time having been with them for about six months. They are quite used to my 'ways ’ i.e. needing precision posture in my wheelchair, needing my food cutting up and only using a fork in my right hand et cetera.

This time I couldn’t quite finish my meal myself as I was just too exhausted! I tried to explain that just holding the fork between finger and thumb was tiring enough through to the posture of my back and even to trying to anchor my feet to the floor.

I try and compare posture alone to making a figure out of pipe cleaners to stand up on its own as even sitting with a certain amount of deportment requires a multitude of ‘tweaking’ with a multitude of things that can go wrong.

‘Not going out’ is the safest option as you are also less aware of your shortcomings and progression.



That’s so true Stephen… you don’t know how disabled you are till you go out.

I can still walk around my flat ok… well to be honest I lean on furniture and hobble… and I can walk around my building with a walker.

Went out for a meal with the family on Sunday and dear oh dear it was hard work. My son pulled up right outside the restaurant and just getting out of the car was ridiculous and then the (short) walk from car to restaurant using walking stick… very hard work.

My mother was with us. She’s 87 & been poorly recently… and walks much better than me!

Sitting on a restaurant chair was so painful on my backside & then when I got up legs didn’t want to work at all.

When I’m home alone it all so much easier!

Haven’t seen you on here for a while. Hope you’re doing ok.

Pat xx


That was pudding x

Hello Stephen, it was being in my wheelchair that first made me not want to eat out again. We stopped at a garden centre and after browsing decided on coffee and a cake, needless to say it didn’t end very prettily. I won’t go out now I can go to the children’s houses but no where else.

Hello Don and everyone.

Eating out is so much of a chore. I like the pipe cleaner analogy. We used to do it a lot but they were in specific restaurants, with good facilities and understanding staff. With circumstances changing (2 and a half year old daughter in tow & worsening of condition) we tend to only do our anniversary and the small cafe up the road-toasted panini stuff is easy to hold with one hand. I’m too much of an inverted snob or anti hero to bother about which hand my fork goes in but I get frustrated when I can’t cut up my food. One needs to plan one’s food choice!!! As for bacon; its only every proper home has been in a sandwich with home made brown sauce. (HP has gone a bit too sweet.) Which brings me to the point that my wife is such a good cook (I taught her everything I know), she can do as well as any restaurant. Her home made STP is the world’s eighth wonder.

Best wishes, Steve.


I wouldn’t starve Pat but I think there should definitely be a not going out club. Can’t remember the last time I ate out…must be quite a few years! Like you Pat…I’m always too damned tired and weak!

Nina x


Ahh Don I’m sorry! Hope Heather is back now and her shingles has improved.

sending you hugs from Herefordshire

Nina x

On the subject of going out, I really hate the way that health professionals seem to thing it will ‘do you good to get out’!

I had this recently from a chiropodist. I asked my GP if she could refer me to have someone come to my home to cut my toenails.

The young woman came and then asked me how often I go out. I said it depends… my fatigue is terrible so sometimes it’s a few weeks (actually it’s often more).

She then said from now on I have to go to the clinic as it will ‘do you good to get out’.

If only she could feel like I do for 10 minutes she might realise why I don’t go out much!!! How dare they presume they know what will ‘do you good’.

And add dizzy spells and double-vision into the mix… I’m usually not safe to go out esp on mobility scooter.

I cancelled the clinic appointment and with a great deal of discomfort I have found a way to clip my own toenails.

They have no bloody idea what it’s like.

Rant over.

Pat xx


I couldn’t agree more Pat, these people who think they know best should try being in our shoes for a short while, bet their opinions would change pretty damm quick.

Between us all we could write a good book of these annoying things.

Pam x


I hear you Pat, I have to really carefully negotiate with my husband to dye my hair, he HATES doing it but I can’t do it now, the hairdressers would cost too much and even getting there is a nightmare, there’s time restrictions on driving down that street despite there being disabled parking spaces right outside the door I’m trying to stick with my long hair tho as I can stretch to a whole week between washes as that takes time and balance, tipping head back sets off wobbles.

I started using nail clippers a few months ago, previous scissor-action is just not an option… and even with clippers, took 2 efforts as I just couldn’t see & get the angle right with one toe!

So when basic personal care takes so much effort, it’s not surprising we don’t have the energy to go out!

Sonia xx


Pat, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had some person…medical and others…telling me it would do me good to get out!

I wouldn’t wish this wretched disease on anyone but I have to say there are a few people that I would love to have the experience of living a day in our shoes…not least some members of parliament!

Nina x


Totally agree with you Pat, i am fed up of people telling me i should go out more grrrrrrrrrr

I am proud of the way i have adjusted to NOT being able to get out much,i love my home and i love my garden,i always have done,

i also like eating good old fashioned home cooked food,too, i am not a fan of eating out,never have been,

i like to eat fish and chips out of the paper,every so often,and when i can i like a coffee and cake in a nice cafe,if i am up to it

its not the life i would choose, but its the life i have got,and i just try and get on with it the best way i can.

i am so fed up too of people saying ‘ooohhh it would drive me mad being stuck in all the time’… Gggggrrrrrr rant over lol

J x

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MrsJ I am 59 years old and often explain to people as a grown up I can think and answer for myself. And not I don’t want your patronising help opening this packet of crops and why talk to me as if I am an infant. Grrrr do they think because yo are disabled you are infantile?? Then because I have told them evidently it is my fault they only want to help. You can’t win.