not coping

My husband has just been diagnosed although we have known for a while. He is coping with it better than me and I feel like he’s supporting me and its all wrong. We have two young children, one is less than a month old and all I seem to do is cry on him. I want to be stronger for him, I need to be stronger for him but I cant seem to pull myself together, its ridiculous. I find it so hard to see him in pain and know there’s nothing I can do. I feel like I just want to scream. I know he’s trying to be positive so why can’t I be?

…you care, that is the most important thing! I have SPMS myself, and next to that we have a daughter with severe learning difficulties… I have more problems with the fact that my daughter has serious problems (although she moves faster than me…) than dealing with my own health (we also have a 10yr old, healthy, son by the way).

Concentrate on the positives. I have a most wonderful wife who has (had) serious medical problems herself just after our daughter was born, 13 years ago, and your husband appears to show the same kind of caring strength, this in spite of his own circumstances.

A lot of ingredients for a rewarding and pleasant life are still there. In spite of all our struggles I feel more complete, for the one and only reason that I am more aware of the ups and downs of life (sorry, did not want to preach!).

Good luck, I hope that you will overcome the initial shock, it is still early days.

Regards, Jos

Thank you, today is a better day. I think my hormones are all over the place still which isn’t helping I guess I just need to give myself time to deal with that and adjust x

Gosh I was a mess for ages after having my baby and that was without any extra stress! My head was all over the place.

I think its horrible to get a diagnosis, but over time you do adjust and realise that life goes on, its just a bit of a different life from before. I definitely felt drained after my diagnosis, but now I’m back to the same daily routine with my small kids and just doing away ok. I think its a bit easier for the person with the DX to cope… we think about it ALL the time and can process it all a bit better. I know at the beginning my husband was devastated, but thats cause he didn’t understand my diagnosis as well as I did. He felt awful for me, and for him and for the future.

I hope you are feeling a bit better now, take care of yourself and each other xxx


My husband was diagnosed with RRMS 3 years ago. His symptoms are rapidly declining. We have 3 children (15, 11 and 9). You are doing remarkably well to cope with 2 young children and your husbands MS.

I have days when I am positive and strong. I also have days when I either want to scream, cry or run away!!

I agree with roseofthenorth (last post) a good support system is vital (I’ve just joined this site for that reason). Just someone you can talk to about how you are feeling can make you feel so much better.