HI everyone my name is Derek, and for many years i have suffered with pains in various limbs pins/needles and episodes of severe frustration and spasms in my legs with pains i have never known the likes of . Anyway I determined to get my life sorted out, as when i was 18 years of age was unable to walk unaided had the use of a chair for a time and literally lived as a cripple .
It sounds harsh but thats the only way to explain how i was .When I was 21 I was told I would never walk again let alone work , so Me being me decided to prove the system wrong and gradually began to teach myself how to walk albeit aided with sticks etc and for many yewars i have gone with the flow of whatever life has thrown at me .If i was honest the pain i suffer has been with me for many years (more that i care to admit to). For the last 2 years i have had severe pain in my shoulders and feel as if i have a band around my ribs and have now been found to have a problem in my left eye . Which as many sufferes will know coupled with the leg pains and various other symptoms can be the straw theat breaks the camels back.
I find myself tired and listless and suffer from slight speach problems which i term as brain lag , i sometimes forget mid sentence what i am trying to say or have to wait for the word to catch up with my train of thought if that makes sense.
I walk with what I have learnt is called drop foot on my right hand side along with constant itching and lots of other little things including balance issues .
My family gp has conceded that his thoughts are now firmly stacked on MS , I have to say I was at first shocked but not surprised. I am now awaiting a session with a neurologist and have an appointment this week with an orthoptic specialist to investigate the lump and staining in my left eye. This was found during a recent eyetest which also found my eyes had detiriorated quite a bit since last year , thankyou very much another thing to worry about.
Anyway as i have mentioned I was shocked but I know I have to cope with what has been bestowed upon me but that does not stop me from feeling alone and very frustrated and scared. I have a brilliant family who are very supportive of my problems and are always there for me , my wife puts up with all of my mood swings , my son and daughter who are now adults will do anything i ask of them , yet I still find life difficult. Does anyone else feel like this?, I find myself in a position that everyday I have to treat as a challenge like carrying a massive weight from on side of the room to another , the kind that you take a deep breath dig deep and somehow manage to achieve the impossible I think it works for me I stumbled across this forum and thought now thats somewhere i could may be learn something more of this bothersome illness. I am lucky I have managed to forge a fairly good life for myself even with the episode of pain etc etc and should be grateful I have also managed to live a nice life but it s still a shock when a bomb is thrown at you , and I am still coming to terms with the fact I HAVE PROBABLY GOT MS I have to say that the meds my Dr has given me have helped with pains etc and I have now developed an interest in the dreaded desease.
I hope this post attracts some replies i look forward to learning how other people cope, do you have similarities to my symptoms etc .
Anyway thanks in advance for taking the time to read my post although I guess similar posts have been written on here many times .
DEREKJ