New Diagnosis


My mum who is 52, was diagnosed with MS a year ago. I whipped her to A&E after her GP thought she had had a stroke. She was in hospital 2 weeks before the finally decided to test for MS and then a further 3 weeks for the results and physio.

The thing is with her and I have noticed more over the last few weeks, that she is getting really nasty (in everything she says) and since her diagnosis she is regressing back to being a child.

Mum hasn’t tried to fight and has instead laid down and just let the MS take over (My boss’s mum who is 10 - 15 years older than my mum, has MS but you wouldn’t think it to look at her).

She sits in her chair all day, I go and see her on my way home from work, I leave after about 45 minutes to go and pick my kids up from school, and she takes herself off to bed. Now I get that she’s probably tired in the afternoon, but she doesn’t do anything or go anywhere. She won’t even come to my house for tea.

I honstly don’t know what to do to help her and my poor dad is trying his best with her too but it’s almost like she has given up.

I am sorry that you have this worry, and can understand that you and your dad must be at your wits’ end wondering how to help.

No brilliant ideas to offer, I’m afraid, but what I would say is that an MS diagnosis can really hit a person like a train and takes a lot of coming to terms with. Many of us go a bit bonkers while we try to get our heads around it, and try to find our range in a changed and rather frightening world. Sometimes this means that we don’t exactly help ourselves, or help (or even permit!) others to help us. Sometimes our distress and anxiety leaks out as bad temper, or misery or any sort of negative emotion you can think of. But that painful process of adjustment does not (or with luck does not) last for ever, so do not give up hope of getting your mum back.

The other thing I would say is that chronic low mood is not ususual in MS, and people with MS often have depressive illness and that (unlike MS) can be treated relatively easily. A depressed person is often the last to notice that she is depressed, because the depression itself can play very unhelpful tricks on self-perception. Maybe you can encourage your mum to talk to the GP about how she is feeling, even if she feels there is no point.

Good luck. I hope that the weather brightens for your mum.



Thank you so much for your words of help and support. Mum hasn’t really talked about her diagnosis (apart from the fact that she didn’t ask for this and why me).

But having someone look in from the outside who has MS helps me to understand a bit more.

Your words are much appreciated

Hi I’m 35 and had ms from a teen I don’t go out often and have to lie down regularly . Even sitting in a upright chair for 15 mins is difficult for me . If I sit up in a chair for an hour or two I get spasms all night over my back neck legs and head that are absolutely exchrusiating . The fatigue is also unbearable and talking is tiring too . I can relate to how she feels . It’s nothing about her not trying or not wanting too . It’s just how this illness is . It is an absolute nightmare uncomfortable and got my debilitating

My wife ,who has had ms for twenty years ,uses fluxotine / prozac, [one spoon a day, just to lift her mood] ,Its very mild .Ive recently read, that a trial has started to see if fluxotine can slow down progression in Ms ,all the best, franky.

This is exactly how it affects me Dizzybird. I’m in bed so much it could win me Olympic gold !