Ok here goes I got a confirmed diagnosis of RRMS last week and its a huge emotional roller coaster. Last year my husband thought i had a stroke, was seen by stroke team they said i hadn’t had a stroke but was sending me for MRI Scan which was 10 months ago. Early January I saw Neurology consultant who chatted and assessed my history and scan, he want to do a further MRI as he was thinking MS I almost fell off my seat as I was not expecting that at all. Had a 2nd MRI and a lumber puncture was done 3 weeks ago, where the Doctor on the day said it was just to rule things out for sure and maybe it was just a “1 off thing that happened” we left the lumber puncture thinking it was all going to be ok. Got an appointment to see Neurology consultant well that knocked me & my husband 100% side ways, partly because i had convinced myself that it was just a 1 off and that’s why he wanted to see me as soon as to get me off his list, how wrong was I.
We have cried together & i cry and random times during day & night, we had to sit down to tell our teenage children the full story of what is happening, I have yet to tell my parents as they are on holiday, I’ve spoken to my sisters. I’m fine most of the time then it just hits me I’ve got MS what is round the corner nobody knows, but the more we speak the more it all fits together and how its not just been the slurred speech and the mixed up words,its the pins & needles down arms and leg, I could fall asleep as soon as i get down stairs after a good nights sleep, the need to go to the toilet (my daughter is so embarrassed when I do my toilet dance has been know at the till of a supermarket, I’ve had to leave everything and go)
That is about it but the guilt i have started to feel that in the future my husband is going to be lumbered with a lazy wife, my children, if i don’t listen to my body and rest when it needs it will i cut my life short? Do i change my diet, starting exercising more, take supplements and the list goes on. I guess it just take awhile to get your head around it all.
I’m waiting on an appointment with the MS nurses and have said to the kids that they are welcome to come along i want to be as open with them as possible. I’m hoping that once i speak with the nurses i might start feeling better about myself again. Thank you for reading my moaning and you all take care.