Hiya guys, hope you are as well as can be!
I really need help to understand what is happening to me, this year I have had four consequtive relapses that have been resulting in symptoms on my face, so that means nerve damage in the brain from what I was told by a neurologist last year.
But now, I am having trouble thinking properly, as in the best way I can explain it is, I can’t feel my emotions properly and perceiving things is difficult, as in things at the social norm. An example I can think of, after my GCSE exams, I did well, got 100% in my chemistry exam and an A in Maths (one year early) and also Statistics. Then later on in the year (2010) I was diagnosed with MS. Now in College, I didn’t sit the exams due to breavement resulting in severe vision problems and I also realised I cannot do Maths and Chemistry anymore, I blamed the MS and my consultant neurologist said it was highly possible that was the case. So you can imagine how I felt when I sat my exams earlier this year when I got my results I was so shocked that I did way better than I could imagine and I wanted to cry just like I did when I got my GCSE results, but I couldn’t!
But this has also affected my conduct with others, now obviously any normal person has to think about what they say to an extent in order to ensure they are not offensive, but I am finding it hard to think like that! I have said things that are rude to others but have only realised after being told off for doing or saying such things. And I have upset people who are very close to me and that hurts even more. I had a five day course of oral steroids, to make the symptoms calm down, now for me and many others I am sure. Steroids = severe depression, but I couldn’t even feel that propery and I am very worried. Especially as my summer exams are coming up, these consequtive relapses have made revision quite hard, so I am very behind. But I just want to understand what is happening, because after a crazy symptom packed year and eventual diagnosis(2010), I had to build up my confidence and this if it continues without me actually realising, may bring that all the way back down again.
There isn’t anyone to talk to who will really understand, but I am sure you guys will have an understanding and could hopefully help me out. This is tough, as life goes on, I have learnt more about MS, but I never thought it would affect me or anyone for that matter in such a way.
Thanks in advance. Would love to hear from you guys!