Hi there, I wonder if anyone can help me. I need some of advice on when the right time is and how to tell my 8 year old daughter about my MS diagnosis. I’m not quite sure she’ll understand and I know she will worry so I feel like I shouldn’t tell her right now but at the same time , is it the right thing me telling her right now?
I think she knows something isn’t right as she always asks if I’m ok. I want to be sure im doing the right thing and i thought if i should ask anyone, on this forum would be the best place. Any advice or suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
Hello, with my kids it was much easier than I thought, being open has been the best approach with everything to be honest. I have found children better than adults dealing with it and even if they don’t understand completely questions will keep coming.
Hi,
I don’t have children so haven’t had to face this.
But I do think they often cope with things better than we think - or better than adults. I’ve seen my 9 year old nephew cope with the death of his grandmother and her funeral. He can become sad and serious, “bounces back” from things faster than adults do. He seems to focus on more on the here and now, less on the past/long-term future.
Is your MS visible/obvious? I suppose what you feel you need to say may depend on what your daughter already sees. There might also be positive ways to phrase things to cut the worry, e.g. if you are getting treatment.
The MS Society also has a webpage on “tips on talking to children about your MS”, if that would help.
1 Like
Hi - my kids are all adults now so it’s no longer an issue but I agree with the comment above. One of the dangers of not saying anything is that a child can try to ‘fill in the gaps’ for her/himself and think the reality is worse than it is! I’d take things slowly but reassure him/her that the scientists are working on cures every day and are confident that there will be new drugs very soon, that it’s very different for everyone with an MS diagnosis, and can be unpredictable but it’s ‘normal’ rather than weird or unusual and there’s a wealth of support to help you.
An uninformed comment from someone without children: I suppose that if it were me it would depend on what symptoms I had. I didn’t have any noticeable symptoms for maybe 5 years after diagnosis and I’m guessing that I wouldn’t have told a young child of mine until there were obvious symptoms for them to worry about. We did tell my wife’s teenage daughters but I think that was partly because there was a lot of hushed anxious discussion between my wife and I, and obvious unhappiness - obvious from our behaviour and mood that something was wrong .