Sorry, I am the anon who wrote the original response about irrational thoughts. I am so sorry to have suggested you may have been trying to wind people up, I appologise sincerely for any offense or upset this may have caused.
It is good that you are aware of all the possible causes of your symptoms, including the biological impact of eating disorders, as well as irrational thoughts / stuck thought patterns.
Don’t ever feel like you have to appologise for irrational thoughts. Mental health conditions are just as real and just as challenging as conditions that are perceived as physical, such as MS. It is important to work out what the cause is in your particular case though, as the treatment and support you need will differ massively depending on the underlying cause.
Oftentimes when it is suggested to people that a possible cause of symptoms could be mental health diffiulties / health anxiety / stuck-thoughts or catastrophisation, people get angry . I think that actually says an awful lot about the stigma that is attached to mental health difficulties… that people would rather contemplate the possibility of MS than accept the possibility that they may be experiencing health anxiety ! Which is sad, because health anxiety can be a very difficult condition to live with, and if you are experiencing it, it is made 100 times worse by feelings of shame or guilt. I am so sorry if I have in any way added to that for you.
I read somewhere that over 30% of patients who visit neurologists actually do not have a neurological condition per se (such as MS / Parkinsons etc) , but are in fact experiencing some form of health anxiety. That is why most patients being assessed for MS will be questioned by their neuro about anxiety / depression etc. Apparently about 1 in 5 visits to GP surgeries are made by people with health anxiety. But when the possibility of health anxiety is suggested, it can often be seen as offensive, or dismissive… so many times you hear people say "how dare the doctor tell me its ‘all in my head’… it is real!!’ I wish there was some way of changing the social climate in which we live, so that a diagnosis of mental health problems, anxiety, or health anxiety was not seen in such a way. Mental health difficulties should be no more shameful than physical difficulties such as arthritis or MS. It is just that the treaments / management strategies are different.
But you seem to have such a rational head on your shoulders about all that stuff - it is such a huge and brave thing to be able to acknowledge the possibility of anxiety or irrational thoughts. Unfortunately, as you say - being aware that your thoughts may be irrational doesn’t always mean you are able to easily change them. It is very difficult.
Also, it is important not to assume that because you have a history of irrational thoughts, you should ignore health problems because you are ‘irrational’. Because of course, the fact that you have experienced mental health difficulties in the past does not make you any more or less likely (than the rest of the population) to have additional health conditions - and you absolutely deserve to be assessed / teated for any problems you are having. But also, as you are well aware, it is important to take into consideration the fact that you have previously experienced difficulties with catastrophisation / assumptions / stuck thoughts / irrational thoughts. If you can be as open with your doctors about this as you have been here, I am sure they will be able to help work out what is going on for you. Unfortunately, no one here can give you the reassurance you need and tell you whether or not you have MS… but your doctors will be able to help, and we are always around to listen to you.
Once again, I am so sorry for suggesting you may have been trying to wind people up.