I would just like to share my day out yesterday in over two months.
I got my crutches the other day from my physio,they have them moulded handles for arthritic people as my grip is very poor.
Gosh I had not been into the local shopping centre in over two months,I was having anxiety attacks yeserday with just even the thought of going out.Its a small shopping area.I had to go see my doctor first and chat about my symptoms and pain and pick up my pain meds perscription.
I got on the bus and paid my fare and thought please driver do not pull out before I sit down,bless he waited until I took my seat.I had visions of me falling and not being able to get back up.
Oh and I walk so slow it takes me forever just to get to the bottom of our drive.Sitting in the doctors and a younger blonde woman did not hide the fact for around twenty minutes that she was stairing at me as I had noticable tremors.This stressed me out terribly wich the tremors became worse.
A man with a cain of around my age then came and sat next to me.He asked if I had broken my leg I said no MS.We struck up a conversation.He had heavy leg supports on his feet,ankles,leg and one one on his right hand and arm.He used to be in the army and had got injured and now had to wear these supports all the time.We chatted about our pains and our difficulties.Gosh it was wonderfull to speak to someone about our difficulties.It was a strange meeting,we felt connected,he would start to ask a question and I could finish it,I would start to say something and he finished my sentance.
He was a breath of freshair and inspirational to me.He also talked about his fight with thyroid cancer and how he won.What a brave man.He said his wife didnt understand his depression and again we connected and understood eachother.I think yesterday we both took comfort from eachother.He gave me new hope and I gave him hope to.He brightened my day and gave me a renewed perspective on life.God bless him.
I only went to one store and as I said I am so slow in walking I had to struggle with my crutches and a heavy basket,there were no shopping trollys.As I approched the till to pay,some rude woman seen me struggling and the little witch speeded up and jumped infront of me at the till.I then went for a spot of lunch,the guy serving was very plesant,he brought my coffee and lunch to my table for me.I also needed a bathroom (weak bladder) and none were availabe however the male serving directed me to some at the back of the store.
I wnet to buy a photograph of my childs class in Welsh Costumes at the Gardian Offices,as I spoke I slurred my words,the woman behind the counter scoweled at me and look disguted.I said I am sorry I have MS,then repeated what I wanted.Again how rude but she then changed her face grimice to one of shame.
It took me four hours to go to visit the doctor,go to one store and eat lunch.Yes I was so slow,I struggled with every step I took,I was in terrible pain.people were rude and pushing past me,bumping into me.Very ignorant people.BUT I am not complaining,I actualy went outside on a bus on my own and did a little shopping and then home.Something I have not done in a long time.I feel proud of myself and to meet such a wonderfull,understanding inspirational man made my day perfect.
YES I did it,I went OUTSIDE on a bus and I am PROUD of MYSELF…
I just wanted to share this with you all,to “Normal” people this is nothing,it may only be a small thing I have done in there minds,BUT in my mind this means the world to me and it was a very BIG step…
I got a little freedom back.
God Bless You ALL…