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ms hidden stress family fractures/eldest son in middle of it.

Hello everyone, 

Not sure i should be typing this as you have heard this all before i am sure. How can i stop them using eldest to get info? I have tried talking to them honestly.  

Sorry for not being on here recently but a few things have been going on.  I have a CT scan on monday and hope they don't find anything. Had the cystopcopy and now waiting for CT and then results.  Gerard has good PSA levels and they have dropped right down so back to self catherisation.  Now for the stressful bit. Yeh i know......The hardest part  emotionally of ms is the part families don't see or don't believe and this situation is not going to get any better.

I had, had enough recently and i had this big outburst on facebook about in laws not bothering to take little one out as we can't do this much anymore . We went to OHs house two weeks after his sister put the phone down on me.  I was ready to say something if she was going to kick off but she didn't.  I thought let this go sarn they are not going to change as somebody on here rightfully said. (sorry i did not take your advice whoever you are) even gerard said they are not going to change.  Its the lack of contact they don't understand.  We are very isolated as my sisters family live in essex and my parents are no longer living.  Our little one has only one set of grandparents that he hardly sees as he is in school most of the time. If they (OHs family)offered a few times a year during the 8 weeks holiday they get that would be great. At the moment this is what they are doing, they are checking up on me to see if little one is going to school regualry yet they know he refuses to go on school trips (he is ASD) and does give us grief on odd days about handwriting and litracy but he still goes to school even though he makes himself late.

They are using my eldest again to get info from us instead of picking up the phone and ringing gerard. In the past they used to ring the house and i would say he is either asleep or i would get him to ring you back  even when gerard was awake i would always pass the phone to him and he would talk to them so they would know the ins and outs,  so i do not know what the problem is other than they don't believe me when i say he is fatigued.  They don't like him working when i don't (difference is i don't get paid not even carers allowance) washing cooking cleaning is still work thats why they call it housework grrrrr!!!!!!!!.  Given the prblems with little one at school and not getting the help he requires and then dealing with my own problems and gerards from time to time its  just about what i can manage yet they think i am worthless. Thats definately how i made to feel as our eldest one keeps coming out with things i know they have said and keep comparing me to other people, for example.," they have jobs and they do this why can't you, why can't you do this",.  For the record OHs sisters are not married nor in a relationship at all.  So all they have to cope with is their careers. Gerard wants to keep working for as long as he can, as he knows being at home ,he would not be able to do much of anything. (lifting baskets of washing up and down stairs). 

The stress its causing me and gerard is unfair.  His mum even if she came to the house all she would be doing is sitting on the bed as thats where he stays.  So what can i do.  Only so much grin and bear it i can take.   Sorry for the rant.  

Best wishes to everyone and thanks for reading as there is noone else to turn to.

love from us both gerard and sandra

Hi Sandra & Gerard

((((Hugs)))) for you both.

Family eh!  When people are that selfish it really dosn't matter what you do or don't do, they won't change and won't give you a fair go neither.

Impersonate a duck - let it all slide off you (and go quackers?evilLaugh)

((((Hugs again))))

Clarexxx