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looking for clues

hi' i've just had by B12 injection today and was just glancing at my notes.they just said poss/prob ms and something about waiting for symptoms to stabalise/progress or something.I was kind of hoping they would go.Am i still living in the land of make believe that i will wake up and be me again?

Oh ****. What a rotten shock letdown

 

There are all sorts of things I could write, but there is only one that has come to mean anything to me over the years: no matter what happens to my body, I am still me.

 

If you have RRMS, then there is a chance that your current symptoms will improve and that you will be back or nearly back to how you were before. However, even if this happens, very few people with MS stay as they used to be: symptoms cumulate over the years and we can't do what we used to do. This gets worse as time goes on. But this same process happens to everyone, not just to MSers. As people get older and change jobs, relationships, homes, etc, their lives change - and not always for the better. MSers have to deal with extra changes, so it's harder, but it's the same process.


Who we are is what we've experienced, who we know, our memories, our beliefs, who we love, what we stand for. What we do / are able to do may be a large part of how we see ourselves, but that changes during every person's life; it is not a constant (I bet you can think of loads of things you "used to" do). A failing body challenges everything, but does not change who we are. We are still ourselves. I am still me.

 

I'm not sure if that makes a lot of sense or helps at all. Perhaps it is something that makes more sense looking back. Anyway, I hope you get that morning awakening of "Hey! I feel better!" and that it lasts a very long time. If it doesn't happen, please know that no matter what happens, you will still be you, just different on the outside.

 

Karen x