My name is Mike and i’m 65 years old i was diagnosed with ppms in April 2012 after being misdiagnosed for a number of years. I had to give up work in the summer that year not so much because of the ms but due to the medication i was taking, it seems i have a very low tolerance to painkillers, anti-inflammatory and anti-depressants as they all cause tiredness / drowsiness which can seriously affect my fatigue making the side effects worse than the symptoms.
It’s been a struggle both medically and financially to keep on top of things. My partner of 24 years is also my carer, my rock, the one i depend on, not only does she look after me but also her brother and mother who both have dementia.
In April 2015 she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and had her operation in July which went as well as could be expected. While she was in the Royal Marsden her father was also admitted to hospital after a fall, we decided to keep this from her until she came home. If this wasn’t bad enough things were about to get a lot worse. I will try and keep this as short as possible.
The day she was released from the Marsden we arrived home to be greeted by our dog Barney who was acting very strangely, he kept falling over, walking into doors and shaking like a leaf, we called the vet ambulance and he was taken in,turned out he had been poisoned but luckily made a full recovery.
On her first session of chemo we had a text message from the hospital to say that her father had died so she had all the necessary arrangements to make which was very difficult for her due to the chemo. Two days before the funeral her mother fell and broke her hip.
Her daughter and 2 children came to stay and look after us both while she was having her chemo and everything seemed fine until she went home one day to collect some clothes for the children when her husband turned to her and told her that he didn’t love her anymore and didn’t want her back so she and the boys moved in with us.
It has been a very hard time for both of us, i don’t feel i’ve been giving her enough support as most of whats happened i’ve shut out or just let it slip by. Just can’t seem deal with anything at the moment.
My goodness Mike what a lot of awful things to happen!!! Can’t imagine how you survived it all…and your poor wife!!!
Welcome to the board …you won’t find a better place for support, advice and friendship. Between us we have masses of knowledge…and always very pleased to have a new member of the gang!
I’m 62. Dx with MS in 2008 and PPMS in 2010. Was also misdiagnosed with ME for a couple of years, and before that with anxiety and hypochondria for a number of years!!! Wish I could see those doctors now and shout ‘I told you I was ill’.
I live in London with the love of my life. He’s furry and has whiskers and says meow a lot and is called Dickie.
It is difficult dealing with anything with MS. Remember it affects emotions too. I sometimes find I have no emotions about something really quite big in my life and yet a TV advert can have me in floods of tears.
Anyway glad you found us and hope your wife is doing much better now.
You and your wife sound like heroes already. Emotional upsets on top of the MS are really hard to deal with. A damn cold is hard to deal with, as is getting other people to understand fatigue. Sometimes I can get a bit too selfish but even though those around me make allowances, I still feel that I have a proper role to play as a husband and father and I need to give consideration to others.
I had to retire through ill health in 2012. Even though I’ve been diagnosed for 22 years I don’t take specific medication apart from amantadine for fatigue.
On the forum, you’ll find a lot of understanding and help with some of the more extraordinary problems we suffer from. I’ve been a fiercely independent person but now I need help and by coming on here I feel far less isolated.
Hi Mike and welcome. You’ve definitely had a rough time but you’re very lucky to have your partner who is obviously very supportive. As the others have said, ms isn’t an easy thing to live with at the best of times and with all the stress you’ve been under I imagine things have been very difficult and taking in your partner’s daughter and children will only as to your disruption. I can’t imagine how much all this is doing to you.
You’re obviously a very good man to support your partner and her family while struggling with coming to terms with ms. I hope you continue to visit the forum, as the others mentioned, there’s a lot of very friendly people here who have first hand experience of managing their symptoms and their advice and support has meant a great deal to me.
I’m sure your partner knows how much she means to you but it’s always nice to be told. Sometimes it’s the little things that we do that show our love and appreciation.
Thank you for introducing yourself, it’s not an easy thing to do but is appreciated. Take care.