Hi my names Hayley I am 34 years old I was recently diagnosed with MS on Friday 24th April 2025 and so worried about going out and people staring or asking questions how do I deal with this?
Hello, that must be a shock for you, be kind and give yourself time to get your head around it. Don’t worry abut what others think until you have processed everything yourself.
Be kind to yourself
James
1 Like
Hi, as James4 says, give yourself time to deal with the diagnosis and get to grips with how you feel about it. It can be a bit of a roller coaster of emotions. Most people are dealing with their own stuff and don’t give much thought to other people out and about, so don’t let that worry keep you from getting out and about.
You don’t mention what symptoms you have - I have balance issues which fluctuate and can make me look drunk/fall over. I use a walking stick, and it is amazing the difference in peoples attitude; without the stick I sometimes get a dirty look (especially when I look several sheets to the wind at 8 am weaving up the road) - with the stick I hardly get a glance, and people are more caring of me, holding doors etc.
Hi Hayley. I’ve been thinking about how best to reply but end up wondering - what do you think people will think, why would they stare?
After my diagnosis had had no obvious symptoms for several years. Since then, and now I use a stick or mobility scooter I’ve found people to be incredibly kind and helpful. If they can see I’m struggling a bit they help! I’ve even had one guy cross the road to help me! And no one asks any particular questions.
More generally I think we all assume that everyone else is fit, healthy and trouble free. In fact an amazing number of people, young and old are living through their own health
More generally still, diagnosis does take some time to adjust to and many of us go through a general period of confusion, uncertainty and ‘grieving’ for the loss of the life we had before diagnosis. And you will have some important things to think about not least which disease modifying treatment to use.
Take your time in thinking through all this
I am sorry about your dx. Interactions with other people in those early days can be very difficult, I remember. For instance, if the only way you can hold it together is to avoid talking about MS or even saying the words but people keep asking questions about what the matter is it’s very difficult to handle.