i f**ked up

I’m not looking for replies but feel free to comment, even if it’s of the “you stupid…” variety, just need to get this out of my system and i’m afraid you’re all going to be my audience. i have done some stupid things in my life but this week must qualify as one of the stupidest. If you read my first thread then you’ll know that i was diagnosed with ms on tuesday, prior to that i’d spent 9 months with this “mystery illness” (even though deep down i knew what it was), the days leading up to when i thought i was going to get the results of my MRI were to say the least, tense (it turned out not to be the day as the consultant i was seeing, was a consultant in stroke medicine, at the time my gp’s opinion was i’d had a stroke, and he didn’t know what he was looking at, all he could tell me was, i hadn’t had a stroke. could have told him that.) i was so wrapped up in my own worried little world that i wasn’t paying enough attention to what was going on around me. i suppose the moral of the story is, don’t shut yourself away, shutting out the people around you is not the answer. they’re around you because they want to be. they are willing to help but you have to let them. they are not going to turn you away just because you now have a problem. it’s so easy to wrapped up in your own little world, especially in time leading up to, and just after your diagnosis that you shut out everybody else. DON’T

i don’t feel any better now i’ve got that out of my system just hope that it will help someone avoid making the mistakes i made

boo x

Good advice boo!

I made the same mistake as you also but you learn by your mistakes don’t ya?

Take it easy - your diagnosis is very new. You will have very mixed emotions about it all at the moment.

best wishes

Teresa.x

Treek talks sense

9 months of wondering and worrying and feeling like poop is enough to make anyone struggle to be their normal chilled self.

…so don’t be too hard on yourself…hindsight is a…corny but so true

Treek talks sense

9 months of wondering and worrying and feeling like poop is enough to make anyone struggle to be their normal chilled self.

…so don’t be too hard on yourself…hindsight is a…corny but so true

thanks guys. yes it is the diagnosis is new and as i alternate between starting to accept that from now on things are going to be different and struggling to come to terms with it all, it’s a whole new scary world at the moment. i’m still unsure about things such as the last few days i’ve really pushed myself to “walk” as much as i can, albeit with the use of crutches, to the point that i can physically do no more, is this a good approach? instead of doing this should i be resting instead? why does resting feel like giving in to it?

i’ve also noticed that odd things happen, bus drivers wait for me to sit down before pulling away! i was on the tube tonight and a woman offered me her seat, i was unsure how to react so i said no it was ok, but she insisted (to be honest i was glad she did because i was knackered, people now hold doors open for me. it’s bizarre

boo x

Hello again boo,

Just wanted to say that you are doing so well to come on here and read all about ‘our illness’ so soon after your diagnosis. When i had my diagnosis a few years ago i stuck my head in the sand and hoped it would all go away. I didn’t want to know what was going to happen to me.

I got diagnosed quickly and felt like i had been hit by a truck. I didn’t even know what day of the week it was.

You are being really hard on yourself at the moment. The time around diagnosis has been the worst for me so far - so take one day at a time. It will take a long time to come to terms with it all.

Pushing yourself is definately the wrong thing to do. You will make your symptoms worse. Learn to listen to what your body is telling you. If it says rest then do so. Resting is not giving in.

Everyones ms affects them differently so try not to worry about ‘what might’ happen in the future.

Teresa.x

Teresa,

thanks for the advice, have no choice tonight other than to rest, the last few days have really taken there toll, and yes you’re right it does make your symptoms worse. i guess i’m learning by trial and error what my limits are…

as for coming on here so soon after diagnosis, as i’ve said elsewhere on here i knew deep down what it was, just hadn’t been told “offically” and did my burying my head in the sand in the 9 months leading up to being told, avoided finding out about it and stuff like that and now find myself being unprepared for it now it’s here.

as for worrying about “what might” happen, i havent seen the ms consultant, dr eli silber (i now know his name!), yet so have no idea at the moment “what might” happen so am trying not to worry about it.

on a slightly connected note, does anyone know anything about dr silber?

boo x

Hi Boo, there are 2 types of people when it comes to chronic illness.

  1. This person will need to talk. About the condition. The possible outcomes. the way they think it will go. The way it wont go. Talk…that person is me.

  2. This person will clam up. They keep their worries and fears locked inside. They feel that talking about it is selfish, seeking attention. This person sounds like you.

I have known folk who turn friends away. I felt hurt, confused when a dear friend was diagnosed with cancer. i wanted to help her. Be there for her. She wouldn`t let me in. her family clammed up too. i felt I needed to let her know i cared.

The best advice I can offer is you must pace yourself. Dont plan more than 1 activity/outing in 1 day. you may find an activity tires you out more than you expected. You may need to take a day or more to recover. Dont underestimate this monster. he`s sneaky, cruel and downright unforgiving.

be good to yourself. let others help when they offer. Accepting help is no weakness on your part.

Human beings have an inborn need to feel needed. Allow that to happen.

Enough already!

luv Pollx

Thank you, nothing else, just thank you x