It’s always nice to hear you’re special or a rare find, but generally not the words you want to hear from your neurologist! Lol. Finally a diagnosis! The relief! …but also… F**K!!!
For 3 1/2 years my brain and body have just not been getting along. It’s hard to describe, but lt’s been like watching Netflix on dial up. The connection is there and you get the jist but it’s just not 4k! Oh And don’t get me started on the buffering!
My walking, coordination and energy levels have been unpredictable and all with a mind of their own. For example i recently discovered my “Dominant hand” is actually rather the submissive type! Lol. And often has the dexterity and grace of a T trex playing the piano.
Some days the fatigue is so bad you think you woke up dead, and you’d be forgiven for thinking that because you start your day with a rather sexy zombie swagger. My right leg trying to keep up until the nightly rigour mortise wears off. I definitely wouldn’t look out of place in a zombie apocalypse but i’d also definitely be first to go! But only in real life It’s not the zombies trying to eat my brains it’s my own immune system lol.
My “Working” leg is often nominated as the designated driver. Only recently i’ve learnt not to rely on this chick as she’s turned out to be a total p*ss head who can’t work her GPS!
I’ve tried lots of therapies to help, physio, massage, reiki, supplements, diet, yoga, steroids. Even the healing power of crystals! I learnt heamatite Is supposed to provide balance? Anyway with enough of them in my left pocket it did kind of level me out for a while!
It basically doesn’t matter how determined or motivated you are this type of MS doesn’t care. It’s scary knowing your going into battle for the rest of your life but ultimately more scary as you know you’re never going to win. But hopefully it won’t be all bad along the way! And hopefully I’ll deteriorate slowly with Grace, style and most importantly a sense of humour! I can’t hide my wobbles so much anymore so I’m coming… well…falling out the closet. Lol.
If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. And i’m an ugly crier anyway.
“The difference between living and feeling alive, is using your fear as fuel to fly”
God speed to all the warriors out there.x Dawn