Harry Redknapp is sitting in a pub drowning his sorrows when in walks a glum Arsene Wenger.
“Et tu Brute?” says Harry.
“Don’t you start, I’m fed up hearing the score,” replied Wenger
Tim Cook in charge of Apple? Wait for the headlines…
‘‘Cook promises to improve Apple turnover’’.
It takes a devoted Atheist to say “random fluctuations in the space-time continuum” when they stub their toe.
My mate just said to me, “If you became invisible, what would you do first?”
I said, “I’d go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat him to death; the round of applause he’d get would be astounding.”
When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me.
After a while, my mum said, “Just use a spoon, Mike. You’re not a Jedi.”
A young Korean couple are lying in bed when the guy starts farting continuously.
“That’s disgusting!” shouts the girl.
“It’s the dog,” proclaims the guy.
“Don’t blame him,” she replies, “he was cooked perfectly.”