Harry Redknapp is sitting in a pub drowning his sorrows when in walks a glum Arsene Wenger. “Et tu Brute?” says Harry. “Don’t you start, I’m fed up hearing the score,” replied Wenger ********************************************************************************** Tim Cook in charge of Apple? Wait for the headlines… ‘‘Cook promises to improve Apple turnover’’. ********************************************************************************** It takes a devoted Atheist to say “random fluctuations in the space-time continuum” when they stub their toe. ********************************************************************************** My mate just said to me, “If you became invisible, what would you do first?” I said, “I’d go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat him to death; the round of applause he’d get would be astounding.” ********************************************************************************** When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me. After a while, my mum said, “Just use a spoon, Mike. You’re not a Jedi.” ********************************************************************************** A young Korean couple are lying in bed when the guy starts farting continuously. “That’s disgusting!” shouts the girl. “It’s the dog,” proclaims the guy. “Don’t blame him,” she replies, “he was cooked perfectly.” *********************************************************************************
Related topics
Topic | Replies | Views | Activity | |
---|---|---|---|---|
Jokes | 0 | 184 | 3 September 2011 | |
Chortles | 5 | 159 | 11 August 2014 | |
Favourite Jokes Please | 29 | 247 | 7 July 2013 | |
Something to chuckle about | 1 | 81 | 11 December 2012 | |
NOT MS::JOKE | 7 | 157 | 27 February 2012 |