So this bloke goes up to the door of a club and the doorman stops him and says “Sorry sir, no entry without wearing a tie”.
The bloke goes back to his car and searches for anything that would do as a tie. All he comes up with are some jump cables. So he ties them round his neck and goes back to the club.
“Will this do?” he asks the doorman. “Well, yes I guess they will. Go on in… but I warn you, don’t go and start anything”!!!
Have a good one whatever you’re doing,
Pat x
Antivirus pioneer John McAfee is wanted by the Police for murder charges. If they catch him they estimate the trial could last 30 days…
A prison van collided with a concrete mixer. Police are looking for six hardened criminals…
oh Pat they are getting worse they are making me cringe!!! I will soon be in tears nothing unusual there
Are you getting the jokes ready for the reindeer crackers (stll not mentioned the C word). Just watched the wife writing cards at least with the way my writing is these days I have got out of that one - positive out of a negative.
Had a up and down day today cramps bad not sure if they get worse this damp weather, took this out on a local bobby this evening though. I was trying to park in order to meet my wife from work and go to Costa for a coffee but low and behold the disabled bays were full as usual with not a blue badge in sight, even a police car in one bay. It was not his day today though, as the policeman jumped into his car I knocked the window and asked for his number and then asked whether Police were exempt from the disabled only parking rules and pointed out several other citizens that also appeared to be exempt!! He apologised and left rather quickly, my wife disowned me and walked off at a rapid rate as half the cars in the bays were colleagues partners waiting to pick up their partners but oh my coffee was sweeter after that little outburst.
Mark
oh Pat they are getting worse they are making me cringe!!! I will soon be in tears nothing unusual there
Are you getting the jokes ready for the reindeer crackers (stll not mentioned the C word). Just watched the wife writing cards at least with the way my writing is these days I have got out of that one - positive out of a negative.
Had a up and down day today cramps bad not sure if they get worse this damp weather, took this out on a local bobby this evening though. I was trying to park in order to meet my wife from work and go to Costa for a coffee but low and behold the disabled bays were full as usual with not a blue badge in sight, even a police car in one bay. It was not his day today though, as the policeman jumped into his car I knocked the window and asked for his number and then asked whether Police were exempt from the disabled only parking rules and pointed out several other citizens that also appeared to be exempt!! He apologised and left rather quickly, my wife disowned me and walked off at a rapid rate as half the cars in the bays were colleagues partners waiting to pick up their partners but oh my coffee was sweeter after that little outburst.
Mark
Hello everyone
Hope all of you are well or as well as you can be, Thought i would join in on the jokes.
Just one for the list
An optimist is an individual who falls off the top of the Empire State Building and says, after fifty floors, “So far, so good!”
Take care and be safe
Lv Mark xx
Good jokes everyone! Teresa xx