My wife has had MS for 15 years now, l have cared for her for the past 10 years. Since then I have had a minor stroke and got depression. I just feel so tired, suicidal, my wife who I love so much needs 100% care …had enough
Hi, can only imagine the hell you are going through, but please either call the helpline for this site 0808 800 8000 or call the Samaritans… link below. http://www.samaritans.org/ Please phone and talk to someone about how you are feeling. Thinking of you, Pat xx
Oh dear Jinkybhoy,
It sounds like you have such a lot on your plate, I’m not surprised you’re feeling so low hun.
Please, talk to your GP and/or your wife’s MS nurse. It sounds like you’re putting 100% into looking after your wife, but not looking after yourself. You need some support and shouldn’t have to cope with this all on your own so please, ask for some help.
Mags x
Hi, it sounds like you need someone to talk to about your own needs. You obviously really care but anyone can get to breaking point if they don’t get support. Is there anyone you can reach out to, sometimes you can look like your coping to onlookers but if you open up and tell someone, sometimes even just a little help like someone helping with getting up and washed can give you some time for yourself, can make all the difference and go along way to feeling you can carry on. You have been doing well but you need to help yourself so you can carry on being the husband you want. She will be noticing your struggling even if you don’t say. Please seek some help from gp, family or ms nurse may direct you to some agency maybe. take care Jo
Thank you everyone, XXXX
Thank you everyone, XXXX
Hello there hun.
I`m so concerned about you and your wife.
My hubby cared for me 24/7 by himself for 11 years and I kept saying we needed hep, but he was stubborn and even tho` his arthritis hurt like chuff, he carried on.
I had to go behind his bac and find out how we could get extra help.
He eventually agreed and I got Direct Payments to pay for 3 carers.
Now we wouldnt be without them.
A lovely lady comes in every morning, to get me up, showered and dressed.
2 ladies take me out once week.
1 lady sleeps over once a week.
All this gives my hubby a well earned break.
Do you think this would help you?
If so, then speak to your social services and ask for an assessment. I am sure you both would benefit.
luv Pollx
Thank you everyone, XXXX
The only thing I could add is for you to contact your OT, there’s a support group for carers of all ages. I was a nurse and looking after people during a shift was enough. I know she’s your wife and you want to do it all but please accept any help you can get, it’s not showing weakness or loving her less, nobody can carry that on alone long term. She’s very lucky to have you, but if you don’t slow down you’re both going to need help.
An anti depressant may help lift you but even with that you need help with her care. Her OT might help there too. Please get help, no one should feel like you currently do.
Cath xx
Thanks everyone for your kind words,trying to sort things out. Xxxx
I’m so sorry that you’ve had such an awful time. I’m pleased you are trying to sort things out. I hope you get some help soon. Please look after yourself , with my very best wishes to you and your wife, Nina x
Sorry to read of these problems. Stay positive.
I agree with the comments others have made. Seeking & getting help is something we all need to do. Life is to be enjoyed. Escapism to hobbies is good. I make music, paint, make sculptures, read, write stories & invent. Doing things we enjoy helps ourselves to have freedom in our minds. Just seeing the wonders of nature can be helpful. Creatures can be very therputic. Restoring something precious like an old bike.
I only say these things as ideas of hope.
If anyone ever needs help I am going to be free online for a while. I don’t know much, but I will try my best.
Good luck out there folks.
My best regards Terence
Hi Jinky
I do hope things improve both for you and your wife, sending you my best wishes.
Pam x