I am coming to an end

Married at 17yrs now to my husband of 41years last 3 years nightmare every test that could be done has been done. Brain MRI abnormal demylational or something but LP clear and all other tests. Only def diagnosis is arthritis in spine which can afffect all nerves maybe Rizzo could add to that. I have daughter in Oz 39 no children son 38 no children but with partner fingers crossed and my accident and baby leaves for navy for 5 months tomorrow I am devastated. You would think being married for 41 yrs at least one child would be settled and 1 grandchild d- but no nothing. Sorry feeling sorry for myself NHS drives me nutes 2 yrs ago imperative another brain scan - nothing. I have been having pains got endroscopy - nice and scan told all clear now consultant has lpooked at results and sent appt for cardiology I said wrong person but no,

I know on this website I do not need to feel like an idiot I am sure we have all been there I just need to get through next 48 hrs but cannot see it.

Anybody with queries should ask Rizzo she know her stuff.


sorry you are felling so low Jan. I can empathise with how we can feel when our last “babes” leave the nest… and to be going off with the navy to see with no chance seeing him / her. Thank goodness for our modern modes of communication eh !!! It will not make tomorrrow any the easier … them excited and us anything but. one thing I suppose to remember, we have done our job to make them confident enough to fly and look forward to the piccies of the places they visit !

I cant really help any with the medical stuff, I am new here so dont know much … just that its is for sure not an exact or always easy science … not much fun or consolation when all we often want is a diagnosis so we can get on with it.




I’d just like to say please don’t judge your children by whether they’re “settled and have children”. Those aren’t the only goals in life. I’m sure some of the world’s most interesting and creative people haven’t all been “settled, with children”.

I know the separation will be a wrench, but I think it’s really something to be proud of, and not “devastated” that your youngest (I assume it’s your youngest?) wants to do something with their life, and has joined the navy.

Surely, part of being a successful parent is to encourage your children to be independent, and follow their ambitions?

I joined the Merchant Navy as a young girl. Although I didn’t stay in long, I’ve never regretted the opportunity it gave me to see places I never would have seen, and I really hope my mum wasn’t going round telling everyone how devastated she was. I also hope she doesn’t think I’m a big disappointment for not having babies - it’s not the be all and end all of everything, and I was never really cut out for it. I don’t know whether the same is true of your son or daughter, or whether the time just hasn’t been right, but whatever the reasons, please don’t make them feel like a disappointment, for not having children. Perhaps they will eventually, or perhaps it’s not their greatest ambition in life, and there are other things they want more? Please try to accept their lives as they are, and not keep wishing they were doing something different.


Hi Jan, and thanks for the compliment :slight_smile: You must have raised strong, independent children for them to have ventured out on their own so you must get a lot of pleasure in knowing that you did a good job. I’m sure your youngest will be home regularly too, and there’s always Skype :slight_smile: I’m afraid I have no idea about the cardio referral, but I will hope that it leads to some sort of breakthrough in your care. Arthritic changes in the spine can cause problems with the nerves that come off the spinal cord and go to the skin and muscles. They could also cause pressure on the spinal cord itself. Have they said what they might be able to do to help yours? I don’t know all that much about it, but I do know that there are sometimes surgical options and that there are more effective meds these days. Karen x

Hi Jan, I understand your sadness as your children leave home.

We felt the same when our`s went.

Theyve both had 2 children each.............but years after their weddings, they have both divorced their husbands...............making them not so settled............and weve been called on to help…big time!

Tina`s reply was worth listening to.

Hope you feel better soon.

luv Pollx

My eldest daughter’s baby was due on Wednesday but still no sign of him. I think he must be waiting for better weather! My son is thinking of going to work overseas probably Australia, he’s going to an overseas job expo tomorrow. I know it would be good for him,but having moved abroad in 2009 and returned to Britain due to missing our kids know it’s a lot harder than you imagine. Our children are on loan to us and must do whatever is right for them and we must swallow our fears and let them go.