How to feel attractive with a suprapubic catheter?

So got a bit of a personal question for you all… how do you make yourself feel attractive with all the ‘appendages’ we appear to gain when living with MS?

So I’m 34 and was diagnosed 15 years ago. Until about 5yrs ago, the MS would rear its head every now and again but generally it wasn’t obvious on a day to day basis. The people closest to me would see me on my bad days but generally I was able to hide it. I could put some effort into making myself look sexy every now and again.

5yrs ago I ended up in a wheelchair fulltime when I lost the ability to walk. I then started loosing control of my bladder. I’ve had to wear continence pads for the last 3 years and yesterday I gained the addition of a suprapubic catheter.

I’ve been married for the last 8yrs and my husband is adamant that the inclusion of the new catheter and bags has not changed how beautiful I am. He’s been with me since I was first diagnosed and steps up as my carer when it’s needed but I just can’t make MYSELF feel attractive and sexy. This man has had to wipe my arse when I’ve been at the absolute worst.

What with the chair, the(removed by moderator) bladder and now the suprapubic catheter, it’s like my body has given up trying to be attractive. We were trying for kids but when the pandemic started my kidneys started failing so things were put on hold cos I was having to go in for so many ops. This has culminated in the permanent cath.

So now we’re gonna be back to trying for kids (with some clinical help) but we’re hoping to get there ‘naturally’ with just some help of tablets before we go down the whole IVF route. How am I supposed to feel sexy and attractive with this plastic tube hanging out my stomach?

You know how when you ask a man how is doing and he says fine he simply means fine? Sounds crazy to us complicated women, but there you go. In the same way, when he says you’re gorgeous that does actually mean he thinks you’re gorgeous. You’re listening to the man, but you’re not hearing him. Please allow yourself to hear him.


Hi Emily, oh sweetheart!

I am also a full time wheelchair user with a supra pubic catheter. But I am 69 and had my 2 daughters in my 20s.

Just as Alison says, if your man says he still loves you and finds you beautiful, then BELIEVE HIM!!!

Go ahead, put that sexy lingerie on and enjoy!
Love Boudsxxx


spot on Alison.