How can i help?

Hello my husband was diagnosed with MS last week, i think we are both still in shock. He woke up on Good Friday this year with double vision that has not got better and after numerous tests and an MRI it was confirmed as MS last week. My husband is only 42 and in his twenties had heart failure - Cardiomyopathy and nearly died he has been on medication since and ironically a few weeks before the MS diagnosis he got the all clear for his heart. In his thirties he found out he had the genetic cancer gene that his mum and uncles died of so he is regularly tested for various types of cancer and in his forties he gets this. All seems like a lot for one person - we are all over the place. He lost his job a few months ago so has been looking and trying really hard but nothing yet. Both are kids are having issues at school and i am trying to hold it together as i am the current bread winner. I dont know how to help him? Can any one suggest how i can? over the years he has been prone to anxiety and depression and i can see hes not in a good place right now , he needs to talk to someone who can help? who could that be? we should get an appointment with the nurse in a few weeks but what do we do until then? any thoughts? advice , words of wisdom would be much appreciated. many thanks Nic

Hi Triqueen

sorry to hear of your husband’s dx, gosh he (and you) have had a lots to cope with over the years. Is it RRMS?

No. 1 on the list of advice is DON’T GOOGLE.

So, how to help him? By keeping yourself at your best, physically and mentally. That way you can best decide what help he needs and will accept. You know him best.

Is he the type who will seek self-help? Will he want sympathy? Will he prefer to carry on regardless and try to keep his head down and get on with it?

There’s no right or wrong way to deal with things. When you get it wrong, try something else.

There’s lots of support here and on the MSTrust websites. When decisions have to be made re DMD (Disease modifying drugs), the MSDecisions website is great.

He will be assigned to an MS Nurse. He/she is invaluable, will answer questions, will know of local groups to join, will do most of the ongoing tests etc and will either hold your hand or give you a kick up the backside whichever is required.

Finally, I repeat, look after yourself too. You have a lot on your plate. Come back and talk to us, you and your husband are very welcome even though you don’t want to be here!


Flippin eck! It never rains etc eh?

1 am not surprised your hubby is depressed…with his heart condition being replaced by MS, who wouldnt be?

And you will find it hard, being everything to everyone at home. Poor you.

The MS nurse will be the best to help, when she finally contacts you.

Otherwise have a word with your GP…for you and hubby separately.

sending hugs.