Home not working

After a sudden and unexpected decline by my husband, it has become starkly apparent that we have been burying our heads in the sand and our home is impossible to make work for immediate and future needs. We own our own home but selling and buying new is going to take too long. We don’t even know who to talk to in order to try and figure this out. We already have a chair lift but the challenge is the bathroom and the house is just to small for modifications. Any suggestions of resources or who we may be able to talk to?

Hi, my mum is wheelchair bound, transfers with hoists, so guessing in a similar situation as you. Her occupational therapist has arranged with social services grants to modify their house. It’s not been quick or easy and as they own the house it’s working out very expensive but worth it to keep mum out of a care home. OT should visit and discuss the area’s you are struggling with and come up with solutions. Would a ceiling hoist help in the bathroom or they may suggest removing the bath and making a wet area for showering. Do you have contact with an ot if not contact your ms nurse and she should be able to arrange a visit. The down side is once they have you on their records it’s impossible to get rid of them again !!! A commode is an idea, place it somewhere where there’s something to hold onto for standing up to get things pulled up and down if your husband is still able to stand a bit. No pleasant or ideal but when needs must.

I hope this has been of some help and good luck and best wishes to you both.

Hello Aveeno,

It all sounds critical and you need help now. Sounds as if the problem with your husband is now too much for you to manage so it needs to be escalated. Someone needs to see the problems that both of you are going through and only then can a solution be put together. I’ve no direct experience of this scenario but a phone call or email to MS Nurse and/or consultant plus a chat with your GP. His quality of life is paramount and suspect stress of buying and selling would be too much

Not to sure about social services, they are seriously overwhelmed and I do not think a solution is in the world of CAB. It might be worth explaining the problem to the disability department of your county council.

A short stay in a hospice would give you both a break and the hospice could come up with a long term solution.

Contact your County Council and ask about a Disabled Facility Grant. If you go ahead they will have all the details of approved contractors, surveyors, occupational therapists etc.

Your Borough Council should be able to give you information about other local resources.

Best wishes,


This depends on your finances but have you thought of renting a bungalow for six months or a year to give you time to sell your house and buy your own bungalow or ground floor flat.

Thanks to everyone who responded…this forum is honestly such a help. I am going to follow up on a couple of the routes suggested. This is just made harder as he is in such a brain fog and/or reaction to new meds that it is hard for us to discuss. The MS nurse managed to fit us in next month. I keep thinking we are smart people we can figure this out but wowzer it is so difficult.