I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago and seemed to handle it better then than I am now. At first I was worried about my family and pushed my feelings aside and I seem to have had a breaking point 2 days ago when seeing gp and the reality just hit me square on. A little scared and don’t know what to do with myself.
I know it probably doesn’t help a great deal, but it is completely normal for this to happen.
The emotions and the process we go through when diagnosed is similar to suffering a bereavement: we’ve lost who we thought we were, who we thought we would be.
It can take quite a while, but we do get through it. En route we feel a range of emotions including anger and sadness, but in the end we learn to accept the new us and life goes on.
And it does, go on. MS is not the end of the world. Yes, it sucks and, yes, we have to face a lot of challenges that we didn’t expect and would rather not have to face, but we can still do most things and we can still have long, productive and happy lives. This isn’t just something that I say to newbies but don’t really mean - it is absolutely true. Promise.
Please don’t bottle up your feelings and thoughts. If you are struggling, then see your GP and ask to be referred for counselling. There are also counsellors based at some of the MS Therapy Centres - you don’t need a referral for them I don’t think. I saw a counsellor when I was newly diagnosed and it was brilliant. It was such a relief to talk to someone who I couldn’t hurt or scare and who wouldn’t judge me! She helped me face my fears and made me realise that even if they happened that I would be fine / I would cope - plus there are so many meds, therapies, equipment and people to help these days! What’s more, she made me realise that living my life in fear is no life at all. I am very relieved that I saw her and that I let go of those fears - because in the 14 years since I was diagnosed my greatest fears still haven’t happened! What a waste of energy it would have been to be worrying all that time about something that didn’t even happen!
Hang in there - give it time. It will be OK.
Karen x
Thankyou Karen, its hard to get out my head that my career more than likely isn’t going to be as long as I thought, I just worry about providing a solid future for my family. Thanks again for such nice words. X
It’s true that most MSers retire early, but we don’t all do this. So it’s definitely best to plan for stopping earlier than you anticipated, but realise that it might not actually happen! A financial advisor might be some help maybe?
If it comes to a choice between your health and your income, I would bet that your family would opt for your health though.
It might be a bit bleurgh, but it’s true that the thing that MS has taught me more than anything is that the best measure of success in life is happiness. “Stuff” is nice, but not necessary.
Kx
Hi Adam, Firstly let me tell you that your not on your own! I was dx on 23rd of March. Sport relief day when the majority of staff were in fancy dress and there was even a couple of brains on legs waiting to be waved off on their miles by waiting press, The irony was not lost on my poor husband and I as we tried to avoid the cameras! We laughed uncontrollably at the situation as it had been a long hard year in limbo. I’ve reassured family and friends and even tried to reassure those in limbo now that it’s not that bad. This week I visited my local MSS branch. To my horror I cried like a baby. I can walk, talk do everything slowly for myself, but self pity got the better of me. My in-laws, in the medical profession, give no support and my snotty sister in law was nasty to my daughter, telling her a one pound Easter egg was on place of a birthday present. I know this sounds pathetic but it was the most hurtful thing that’s ever happened to me. The lady at the MSS thinks I need councilling. I said no. I don’t know how to feel, what’s normal, what’s not. The in laws can all go **** themselves, I’m not going to dance round them. Yes I look fine, but I’m knackered, my feet and hands ache and I’m doing my best. My lovely husband is too. Good luck Adam, take each day as it comes, tomorrow who knows whats going to happen! Chis x