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Floored.

Sitting there today in that bleak bleached chair, in the cold consultants room I finally heard the words that have been plaguing my thoughts day in and day out for the last three months. “You have MS” he says, attempting a warm smile. I was filled with both relief and grief, relief that finally my days of endless wondering are over but grieving the life I had envisioned.

At 18 years old you don’t expect things like this to happen, where do I go from here? Will I reach my goals? How tough will it be? Will I have a ‘normal’ life?

My world I feel is completely upside, I feel more lost now than before my diagnosis at least then I could cling onto the small chance of everything being negative and that I was completely fine.

If anything all I wish for is support, to not feel so alone in what I’m going through and reassurance that MS isn’t a life sentence.

  • Thank you

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I’ve only just recently been diagnosed myself. Do you know what type of ms you have? You will need to give yourself time to come to terms with the diagnosis. You’re not alone, you have this forum where I’m sure you will get lots of support if you need it. Ms society also have local groups, so look into finding the one near you and make contact when you’re ready. Any questions , ask away C

I am sorry that you have MS. You sum up very eloquently the tumult of conflicting emotions that a dx stirs up.

The only thing I would like to say is this: you will not always feel this bad; you will not always feel that your life has come under mortar attack. You are more resilient than you think. Bizarre as it sounds, you will find that the shock passes over time - although that can be a rocky road, admittedly, and take a while - and that you will find a way of dealing with whatever comes along. Most of us have felt as you feel now, and it is not a good place to be. But most of us go on to make good lives for ourselves, despite MS. Hang on in there.

Alison

hi JJ

you are so young.

in a way that makes me sad because ms is a cruel thing to have.

but on the other hand there are lots of new drugs and therapies.

you need to get out there and live your life, after you have taken time to grieve and get used to the idea.

my friend has been very supportive since my diagnosis and then her daughter got the same at age of 19.

this girl is 25 now and has a 4 year old daughter, in a very loving relationship with a really nice guy, she has got her qualifications as an occupational therapist and is about to start uni.

so you see, anything is possible.

spread your wings and fly!!

carole x

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Hi JJ, although the future looks bad at the moment, it won’t always feel that way. You’re very young, but look at that in a positive way. I expect soon you’ll be able to get information on DMD’s which help delay the progression of MS, your neuro or maybe your nurse will advise what’s best for you & help you to come to a decision. At the moment you’ll feel quite shocked with hundreds of questions running round in your head, give yourself time to get used to this. Nobody knows what’s around the corner, maybe all you’d envisioned might still be possible but in a different way & despite your MS.

There’s a huge fund of information to tap into on this forum, it’s also good if you’re feeling sad & angry…don’t hold back, we’ve all been through what you’re feeling now & there’s always somebody about to help. I promise that once the shock subsides you will feel better, just be kind to yourself & take thing slowly.

Rosina x

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I remember the day of my diagnosis. The GP was chasing me to come to the surgery to review the results of my three MRI scans. Never a good sign.

And so the meeting began, “well, you haven’t got cancer.”

Hoorah!

It is a kick square in the knackers. My first few days were filled of memories of the wretched state my own mother had descended into, thanks to this thing called MS.

It was my parents genes that brought me here; perhaps my mother gave an indication of where i was to go to next? But this is not true. Not true at all.

A sense of loss (of hope, of future, of dreams and aspirations) is natural and you will get through that silliness. You will come to realise that the future is no more uncertain now, as it was back before you received the kick to the crotch.

Fact is, there is an identity to this beast that has been messing with you over the past few years and that means you are now better armed to fight it. So fight it!

It might never come to anything at all. Or it might become the greatest challenge of your life which you will grow to overcome and realise an even greater appreciation for that which you have.

Good luck.

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Hello JJ

I am so sad to hear about someone so young getting a diagnosis of MS. You’re right, at 18 this is not what you expect.

Being a parent of two, I would be heartbroken if you were mine. I hope you have good family support round you.

It’s not a life sentence though and you will eventually find ways, with the right support of dealing with your MS. It’s early days yet and you must be feeling a certain amount of shock, even if you do feel some relief.

People with MS do have careers, do achieve goals. You must never give up on your dreams, you may have to make a few adjustments.

My only advice right now, would be, take it slow and try not to think too far ahead…easier said than done I know.

((((((hugs))))))

Thank you all so much for your comments and advice, it was very touching and I am extremely grateful for your support!

  • J J
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