Hi,
I am seeking advise on the best way to support my friend through the diagnosis process. She is going for further tests next Friday however having reserched the symptons on this website it all points to MS. I know I have to be there for her and I will but I just need a little advice.
Thanks in advance
Andy
Being there and interested is a good start.
There are a huge amount of things that mimic ms and all of these have to ruled out which means the diagnostic time frame is usually a long one, and many of the mimics are treatable.
The diagnosis of ms is then rarely given unless there have been two clinically significant episodes and most people are left in limboland waiting to see if something else ever happens. This is a very difficult place to be as you seem to live on tenderhooks and questionning yourself constantly.
In limboland a good friend is a godsend…aswell as on here.
Many symptoms we experience are difficult to explain ie something is numb but you can feel it…it takes someone who knows what you mean to convince you that it is in fact very common amonst us special people.
Things that are weird symptoms your friend is best asking on here, but there is nothing better than a rock of flesh and blood for everything else.
Oh yes IF it is ms there are alot of embarrasing things that may/maynot happen aswell…when you say friend???
Pip
As Pip’s post implies, it still might NOT be anything serious. There are a lot of mimics, some of which are readily treatable, so try to keep an open mind about exactly what it is, and what the implications are. But equally, your friend will need acknowledgement that she is worried. Please don’t say what one of my friends did, which was: “You mustn’t worry, I’m sure it’s nothing.”
By that time, I’d already had my scan, and knew I had brain lesions…caused by NOTHING? Pretty obviously not! So I think you face quite a difficult balancing act between acknowledging your friend’s entirely valid fears, and reassuring her the verdict’s still not reached yet, and there might be a less sinister explanation.
Even if she’s had an “MS-like” attack, in some cases the person never has another one, and no explanation is ever found for the one they did have, so it just has to lie on file as “one of those things”, and doesn’t result in an MS diagnosis.
I think my overall message to you, really, is to prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. With a bit of luck, your friend’s symptoms either have nothing to do with MS, or she will be one of those who have a single, ad-hoc attack, but are not destined ever to repeat it.
Even if the diagnosis does turn out to be MS, probably almost every preconception you have about it is wrong. I’m not making it out to be a walk in the park, because even invisible symptoms can be very debilitating. But very few people die of it these days, and a good proportion will never need a wheelchair. So it really is a case of taking it a day at a time. First of all, is it even MS? And then, if it is, nobody can say what the future holds. Not everyone is badly affected. Even people who don’t have MS aren’t guaranteed their health tomorrow, in two years, or in ten years time, so in a way, it’s a lottery for everyone.
People with MS already know they didn’t have a winning ticket, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s worse than the next person’s.
Tina
Hi Andy and welcome
Well, I have to say you’ve made a fine start in being supportive by coming on here and by trying to learn about MS 
Do avoid googling madly though - there are a lot of nutcases out there! Stick to this site and the MS Trust site and you can’t go far wrong.
Personally, I think the best way to support someone going through the diagnostic process is to simply be there, quietly, letting your friend use you as a punching bag, a sounding block, to give hugs, tissues, etc. as required. Letting them know that they can talk to you any time, that you are happy to help with whatever, whenever, etc.
Do ask your friend what they want from you though. They may want something completely different to me!
I hope she gets some answers very soon.
Karen x