Hi, my name is Kate and I have had MS for 12 years. My husband was always my carer, without even realising! Sadly he died from cancer a few weeks ago and I now have to get used to living alone (not completely, I have two small dogs) My main issue is having to ask my children or friends for help. To take me out, move my bin etc. I know I’m lucky to have them but does the guilty feeling stay??
Hi Kate
That guilty feeling is in YOUR mind, not theirs. If they love you and you are a close family, won’t they be happy to help? All the time your husband was there for you, perhaps there was nothing they could do that he wasn’t already doing.
You just have to ask. You know what help you need and they possibly don’t.
Graeme
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You’re probably right but I’m very new to this situation and it will take me time to get used to. I’m coping reasonably well so far so I shouldn’t complain.
Kate,
There’s nothing to feel guilty about. Helping others, especially those we care about, makes us feel better about ourselves. So, you needing and asking for a little help will bring a lot more smiles and confidence to those around you.
Happy to do your bins for you if you live near me 
Yours,
Steve
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Oh my goodness, I am sorry for your loss. With such grief to process, I think you just need to tell yourself that whatever you need to get through each day is OK. Whatever help you need, accept it gladly and without a second thought. With time you will start to rebuild but for now you’re in survival mode and that is no time for deep reflection or long-term planning.
Hi kate, I’m so sorry to hear of your dear hubby’s passing.
Have you thought about asking for a care assessment?
Boudsx
Thanks for responding Steve and if you lived close, I’d take you up on the offer of help with my bins!
Since you probably don’t, my son will come round and sort them today, while I keep his baby amused 
Yes, I’ve had a care assessment while my husband was in the hospice. I’ve been offered useful things, like the pendant round my neck in case I fall. I’m fairly new to this area and I’m seeing the doctor for my first medical next week, so I’ll see what he/she has to say.
Thanks for your response
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