Health & safety at Christmas (joke)

Please note.....

All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open
sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that
a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open
sleigh for members of the public. This assessment must also consider
whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture,
particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that
permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before
their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating
in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and
not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection
by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night.
While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by
CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all
users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan
must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel
of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her
glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing
appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful
effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last years well-publicised case, everyone is advised that
Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to
the redness of any part of Mr R Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of
Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and
disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in
various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is
reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines
and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the
individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct
gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is
advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may
evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent instance of the infant found tucked up in a
manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised
and will be arriving shortly.

Very good.

I will carry out a risk assessment , before the day is out.  thumbsup

Chris R.

I. El. (Eng). (Rtd).

I know its going to be a bad day when I get out of bed and miss the floor, today is such a day.