Having a baby when you have MS

My husband has RRMS and we have just been blessed with our first child. However, despite being a loving and active father and great support to me, there are particularly things he cannot do due to balance issues and fatigue etc such as holding the baby while going up the stair. My parents are extremely worried as they only see his recent health decline and are worried for their grandchild. Their stress is not helpful. Has anyone else any experience or advice being a first time parent and caring for a newborn while having MS? Any advice or would be appreciated.

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There are lots of strong emotions swirling around in your family, I should think, and people aren’t always their best selves at such times. I hope that your parents can quickly reframe their concerns into wholehearted delight for your new young family and encouragement and support for you and your husband. They do need to be thinking about what you need as new parents, don’t they? This really isn’t about them.
Congratulations, by the way.

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Hi there

I think Alison above has given you great advice.

You and your husband are the ones who know your baby best, and yourselves and your abilities best. I am sure if your husband feels that it is too risky to carry the baby on the stairs, given his balance issues, then he and you will find ways to safely manage this. Neither of you are going to put your baby at unnecessary risk.

Your parents can worry all they like, but it is not up to them how you parent and they should not be interfering and projecting their worries onto you and your husband. It’s not helpful.

I am sure you are both doing a great job with your baby and you will find your own ways to manage, just as any new parents do.

Wishing you well.

Alison (another one!)

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Hi Safiyya’.

That’s wonderful news - congratulations to you both :bouquet:

Your husband sounds like a good man :+1:

I’m sure that your new baby will be perfectly fine with you both - it will have a mother’s love from you and a fathers careful protection from your husband. It’s a magical time that I’m sure you will both enjoy and always remember. My daughter being born was the best part of my life. Those early years seem to fly by. She’s 20yrs old now, has a responsible job and, has just moved into her own place.

I also have RRMS now but, I still can’t help keeping an eye on her from a distance. Truth be told, I think she’s keeping a bit of an eye on me since my diagnosis :slightly_smiling_face:

You’ve got some great advice from both of our Alisons above :slightly_smiling_face: :+1:

Grandparents can be invaluable when a new baby arrives but, they can also take some time to adjust and understand that you and your husband are the parents now. It may take some time and reassurance but, they’ll get there :+1:.

Change is sometimes not easy and, you’ve both entered a big new chapter in your lives.

I wish all 3 of you good luck and, all the best x

Jon.

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Hi @safiyyawinter and congratulations. Every time I see your post if think that as a 72 year old man with no children I am not the right person to answer you but - what is it that is worrying your parents so much? Do they know much about MS , what are their fears?'.

I know from my wife who is a Mum to two now adult daughters that being a parent basically means a life of worrying and concern ( and holding back the urge to interfere :thinking:) no matter how well your children seem to be.

Parents will always worry and want to help ( as a stepdad I experience both and sometimes in bucketfuls)

Depending on your relationship with your parents, is it worth the two of you sitting down with them and letting them talk through their worries , patiently reassuring them and basically welcoming their help where useful ? Let them feel helpful and useful?

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