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Going crazy

Two weeks today till my MRI scan (unless I can get another cancellation!!). I feel like I’m going crazy!!. On the one hand I’m chuffed to bits that its nearly here, but then I’m sooo nervous for the outcome. I’m trying to be positive but ended up nearly breaking down on my girlfriend today. Thing is I can’t wait to find out what it is that’s causing me to struggle so much, but then if it is something like MS it’s potentially the end of my active career. My head is so mixed up because I want to know but then don’t want to face up to possibly life changing careers issues How does everyone else cope without going crazy?!?

What occupation do you do?Husband was diagnosed 16 th july 2013 and too our shock had many lesions on brain and spine also seems like everything took ages to get diagnosis.Even now one blood test had not come back he has been registered as severly sight impaired/blind august 8th 2013 and he still works at present using a video magnifer to change colour of writing white writing on black background with zoom feature.Not sure how much longer as struggling now things get harder day to day but we think his ms is quite advanced.Hopefully mri will find out your problem or tell you have the all clear? what are your symptoms and have you had anyother tests?xx julie

You seem to really love your job and I can relate to that (though, luckily, I can work at home, so I don’t have to go through what you’re going through). If anyone told me I couldn’t do it anymore or would have to make some serious adjustments, I’d be a mess. But if I’m reading you correctly, you haven’t been diagnosed, yet, so it may be too early to worry about it.

I used to think ´that imagining worst-case-scenarios is the best way to prepare, and for many things it is, but I’ve realized that it has absolutely no worth when you’re in limbo.The fact is that you don’t know what this is, so it may just go away (as my GP keeps repeating, there are viruses that cause MS-like symptoms and just go away) or can be easily medicated. I know it’s hard to not be watching every single tingling or cramp or twitch your body makes and interpret everything as MS. I think it will take me a very long time until I can see my body as anything other than my enemy (I find that the hardest part). But what helps me is to try to not think of this as MS, but as something else, because it still can be that. Once you are actually diagnosed, you can talk stuff over in work or look into counselling to re-imagine your career and find other ways to enjoy and love your job. I know how hard the not knowing is (I’m going through it myself), especially when you keep thinking about the consequences and how bad things are if your body stays like this forever. But it really think pushing these thoughts away for now is the only way you can do it.

Best,

mj

Hi julie. I’m an active bobby and I’ve already been kind of told that if it is ms I’ll most likely be side lined to an office role which will be really hard as I love the day to day life of my job right now. Im hoping its something easily resolved so I can get back to it but its hard to be positive when both my dad and older brother have it too and my symptoms kind of closely match theirs. Currently still waiting for some blood results which may clear it up but my consultant hasn’t ‘reviewed’ the results yet so I’m still waiting for them. I’m trying to keep a clear head until I’m diagnosed one way or the other but being sat at home for six weeks already is giving me too much time to think!

now i understand when you say active,I have friends who are bobbys and chances are ,it could be ms if there is a history in you family.Hopefully fingers crossed you havent got it hubby finds with sightloss hard enough and has ms too i do not know how he copes sometimes.He is currently on waiting list for a guide dog.Hopefully if you have ms it will progress slow and you many have many years left doing your job.xxxx julie

I WILL KEEP MY FINGERS CROSSED FOR YOU FOR ALL CLEAR XXX JULIE

Thanks julie :slight_smile:

Aw hun, I feel sorry for you. But you know, having MS doesnt have to mean the end of a full and worthwhile career.

Would it really be so bad to be working inside and not on the beat? or perhaps there are even more interesting indoor jobs you could do.? Maybe visiting schools, business premises or private homes, advising people on security and stuff?

Yeh, i can see why 6 weeks on the sick is giving you too much thinking time.

Why not get surfing on other types of police work, yeh?

luv Pollx

Maybe it’s not the end of the world and it might sound really silly me getting upset but I joined this job three years ago to get away from office bound jobs!!. But maybe it’s worth a look around to see what other roles I could fulfil in the case it’s a bad diagnosis Besides I’ve already run out of competitions I can enter online so I need something else to do!!

I understand your worry we thought hubby had brain cancer all sorts of stuff runs through your mind wile waiting.And with ms in your family it is bound to be on your mind.And like pollx said it doesnt have to mean the end of your career .If they do diagnose it it may progress slowly and take years before it gets bad.Try to keep your chin up and try not to worry to much xxx julie