arrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! I don’t know what i’m doing anymore! I have friends telling me i cant post on facebook asking for hugs when I can’t get hold of anyone else or on here (i can get facebook on my phone but not this), cos it will make people think of me as weak, im getting really jumpy everytime mum comes to snoop on my laptop about what im doing, but as far as she is concerned, most of its in my head anyway/she doesn’t wanna accept there is anything wrong. It’s not like I wanna accept it either but you might have to. Then I thought i was doing good taking the registration forms into the new GP last week, but now im getting annoyed at not having received any confirmation and if i go and pester them about it, mum will think im being stupid, as if there is something really wrong. I wasnt rushing for any diagnosis but now i think it would be great just to get it all out the way, but the way my family have been behaving recently, i would be going to every appointment and the MRI on my own, thats no way to have a set up for possible diagnosis. i know i have you guys, but to not have any family support regardless of what it may be is really upsetting me. None of them would come with me to the dermatologist when i had a dodgy mole, i don;t know whats wrong with them, they know how sensitive i am. And i know it shouldn’t be bugging me, but i can;t get the events of last wednesday out of my head. With this creeping numbness and crushing moving up from my foot to my leg and no matter how much i moved or changed position, it was still there. which makes me think it wasn’t the " I’ve been sitting in one position for too long" type numbness. Then earlier today, i had real trouble lifting my toes, it really was as if someone was pushing down on them with something hard, it took a lot of effort to get them to move initially. i know i shouldn’t be scared cos whatever it may turn into, i could cope. well i could if i had any family support, but i won’t I know ive coped on my own literally until a few weeks ago when i joined here but i don’t wanna have to be doing it on my own anymore. but i think i will be. its like they don’t care.
rant over.