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Going crazy here :-(

arrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! I don't know what i'm doing anymore!  I have friends telling me i cant post on facebook asking for hugs when I can't get hold of anyone else or on here (i can get facebook on my phone but not this), cos it will make people think of me as weak, im getting really jumpy everytime mum comes to snoop on my laptop about what im doing, but as far as she is concerned, most of its in my head anyway/she doesn't wanna accept there is anything  wrong. It's not like I wanna accept it either but you might have to. Then I thought i was doing good taking the registration forms into the new GP last week, but now im getting annoyed at not having received any confirmation and if i go and pester them about it, mum will think im being stupid, as if there is something really wrong. I wasnt rushing for any diagnosis but now i think it would be great just to get it all out the way, but the way my family have been behaving recently, i would be going to every appointment and the MRI on my own, thats no way to have a set up for possible diagnosis. i know i have you guys, but to not have any family support regardless of what it may be is really upsetting me. None of them would come with me to the dermatologist when i had a dodgy mole, i don;t know whats wrong with them, they know how sensitive i am. And i know it shouldn't be bugging me, but i can;t get the events of last wednesday out of my head. With this creeping numbness and crushing moving up from my foot to my leg and no matter how much i moved or changed position, it was still there. which makes me think it wasn't the  " I've been sitting in one position for too long" type numbness. Then earlier today, i had real trouble lifting my toes, it really was as if someone was pushing down on them with something hard, it took a lot of effort to get them to move initially. i know i shouldn't be scared cos whatever it may turn into, i could cope. well i could if i had any family support, but i won't :-( :-( :-( I know ive coped on my own literally until a few weeks ago when i joined here but i don't wanna have to be doing it on my own anymore. but i think i will be. its like they don't care.

 

rant over.

Aww xx

I'm sure they do care Jules x probably more than you will ever know! It's just that a lot of the symptoms you are describing are not something that everyone experiences - not like 'I have a headache' I've broken my arm' or I have the flu' etc etc etc - they are things that people can readily understand and sympathise with because they are common complaints. They are also things that you can go to the doctor with and instantly be diagnosed and treated. 

18 months ago when I had the 'hug' really bad and I was experiencing freezing/burning sensations in my thighs my GP told me my symptoms were 'bizarre' and that I was 'complicated' !!!!! I was pretty offended until I realised that that is how they describe someone with symptoms that are not run of the mill 

I also think sometimes that people around us are 'scared' of anything unusual and they bury their heads in the sand and hope it will sort itself out on it's own x

You have taken the right steps by changing your GP but nothing happens very quickly - unfortunately you have to go with the flow and wait - I know it's hard - but keep your chin up and try to stay positive xxxxjenxxxx 

You're right Jen, I'm sorry for moaning so much. i think its the realisation that everything I'm experiencing really isn't imagined or exaggerated by fear, im just getting used to it all.

xx

Don't ever apologise for moaning!!!!! All this is utter poop!!! So we are allowed happy2xxxxxx

Ahh im glad its allowed on here at least :-) I think a big round of *Hugs* for all of us is in order! xxx