I was where you are, a year ago. But it does get easier. Today is my d day+1. We walk alongside each other MS and I. Sometimes quite happily, in easy silence, sometimes raging at each other. It never goes away. It’s always there, sometimes it bites me but hey, sometimes I bite it back. Sometimes we are friends, sometimes we are not. But without a doubt, it has become an integral part of me. It doesn’t make me who iam, it doesn’t define me but I have come to accept that it will always walk alongside me. Never in front of me, never behind me but alongside. And as long as it remembers it’s place and stays there, MS and I will remain companions. Not enemies, that’s too much energy to invest in it and never friends because I don’t actually like it but companions forced on each other. Acceptance of what I cannot change gives me the strength not to walk in the shadow of MS.
Mrs H that is so beautifully put. Thankyou xx
Thanks Mrs H. Today I have been struggling I have another appointment this afternoon so hopefully we are nudging another pace forward towards some sort of dx.
Thank you for sharing You sound like you’re in a good place and that’s where I’d like to be heading, though I think it might take a while!
Though I am still in the questioning stage before diagnosis, I recognise that this experience is largely about confronting change. I’ve heard it said that the one thing that never changes is change itself. The experiences that all of us on here are sharing deal with the fear and uncertainty that comes from our bodies, minds and emotions not behaving like they used to. It takes courage to accept that your Self, that you used to rely on to be a constant in your life, can undergo this metamorphosis into something that forces us to live differently.
May all of you who are walking this shifting path, whether alongside a definite ‘ms’ label or not, have the courage to accept yourselves as you are and find something, anything, nurturing and loving in the experience of it ~ ~
It can take a while…and I have a lot of help from fantastic parents, the wonderful MrH, a good counsellor, a very supportive GP, nurses and neuro. Oh another forgetting my faithful amytriptilene !! But you WILL get there. Trust me a little. Xx
Excellently put. Thank you.
Inspirational MrsH. Thank You
First time ever using a Forum, but it actually feels pretty good!
Mrs H and Reikiblossom, your posts made me feel a sense of calm, albeit still pretty scared deep down, thank you both.
I have a feeling I’ll be using this Forum a lot.
Thank you Mrs H
Lovely. Karen x