hello all
my first post
my wife has recently been told she has MS, i work 5 over 7 days i am looking at applying for flexi working time to spend a bit more time with her at weekends as she works mon to fri part time and cares for her parents unofficial in the mornings
MS has not yet been unkind to us and my wife is 99% fit, fatigue and numb finger tips is all she suffers but who knows when we will get dealt a bad hand
my question is has anyone any experience of applying for flexi working time on the statement i want more quality time with her at weekends before (god forbid) i have to become a full time carer and give up work completely
thanks folks in advance for your help xx
This is such a common problem - the impossible business of weighing up the conflicting aims of financial security and making the most of the best years.
Please don’t assume the worst, by the way. When I was diagnosed, 16+ years ago, the neurologist said to me ‘Don’t go home and get the doors widened yet.’ That was good advice then and it still is. After some years at full-time, I did reduce my hours from full to part time before I was finally retired on ill-health grounds. Mr Alison100 continued to work f/t on the basis that there are still bills to be paid and someone has to earn a living, particularly if the other one’s long-term employment prospects are dicey or worse. But of course we have had many of the discussions that are currently going on around your breakfast table. Much more recently, he has negotiated a permanent reduction in hours for the reasons you described - he is lucky enough to work for an employer who takes the flexible working thing seriously and agreed to that. I hope that you find your lot sympathetic too, if you ever do want to go down that route. But it was a lot of years down the line before we felt that this was feasible for us from a financial point of view. In the end, it comes down to what is practical, doesn’t it?
One other thing - is it worth thinking about this from the perspective of freeing up time on your wife’s side of things rather than yours? Finding some other way of resourcing care for ailing parents, for instance? To put it bluntly, if she were to fall into MS (or any other sort of) trouble, even for a little while, you would need a Plan B on that front anyway (and fast), so that would be worth thinking about.
Good luck.
Alison
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