Finding the right words…..

MS and how I’m feeling and lack of accessibility in some premises means I often decline invitations. The upshot of this is that people now tell me they don’t invite me because they know I won’t go.
Frankly I’m offended and a little bit hurt.
I’d like to come up with the words to say so without appearing to be complaining just to say, just because I often decline an invitation please don’t stop asking me.
Am I being over sensitive?

Hi Flowerpot, Something similar happened with me, with my friends, they’d plan things and leave me out, saying “we didn’t think you’d be up for it” I just said “well you could have at least asked me” In the end I said “don’t bother asking me” as I’ realised myself that I couldn’t do it anymore anyway and that way I’ve stopped all the upset. Also I’ve asked then to stop sending me Whatsapp messages and photo’s when their on holiday telling me “WHAT A GREAT TIME THEIR HAVING” as for someone who can’t do that anymore it’s a bit much, I do wish them a good holiday and when they get back ask if they’ve had a nice time I’m not so selfish, but people don’t realise what it’s like to live with something like this, other than the people you live with (upto a point) or the people on here. Take good care of yourself and try to keep :smile:

Jean x


Not sure what sort of invitations you are talking about , nor who they are from. Is it possible to just say ‘sorry I won’t make this one - too tired etc - but thanks for the invite and hope to see you soon, etc’ or ‘ sorry but that restaurant, theatre or whatever is too hot for me/ isn’t easily accessible’. And also make suggestions of where would be a good place to go?


Due to extreme fatigue, I’ve not been able to socialise with friends for a number of years and I’ve lost touch with most of them now.
I was thinking of maybe a small get together reunion over the summer, but I’m now recovering from pneumonia, so it will have to wait till later.
It’s like one thing after another, also I’m still awaiting elective surgery on the NHS, that doesn’t seem anytime soon tbh.
Just feels normal to me if I never get invited out to anything anymore, it’s probably for the best tbf, I’m happy and can always think back to the good times.


It sucks big time that you cant say to them “look invite me, i am or may not be able too manage due to my condition etc, etc” what if you ask them to meet up some where you can gey access to. I do that with my pals and i get the blzme for us all getting fat lol. It is a weekly meet up for a fry up, coffee and cake. We still talk crap lol