Unfortunately I know catheters too well . Going from someone who had no history of utis and urge incontinence - I had to get a catheter in every week whilst at university. Now an urology nurse visits my house to administer medication into my bladder via catheter. This is once per month. She advised me to give self catheterisation a go considering the retention I have even with urge incontinence. Personally I can’t do it myself due to balance. Wouldn’t matter if I had a torch on a mirror either . Still wouldn’t do it properly lol
Best advice is keep trying and if it doesn’t work, ask someone for support. 
good luck!