Thanks for your reply. Hope you husband is doing better now and u are well. You are probably right about the depression. Atm I just feel that my life is over and that I have destroyed it and that thought is with me almost every waking moment. I know this cant be healthy! The trouble is in large part the severe tinnitus. Every time I try to think positively about the future, the loud tinnitus noises intrude and remind me about the recent past. Im hoping that maybe I will just wake up one day and be happy to see another day and jump out of bed and get on with life. Atm it all just seems like torture. Loud noises, flashing lights, headaches, burning pains, electric shocks, and negative thoughts. And about as much self-pity in two weeks than I thought I could squeeze into a life time.
Sorry for the rant and vent. And thanks again for your post. I loved waht some one had as their tag line on another MS site - âJust another MS warriorâ. atm I feel like just another MS casualty but hope that âjust another MS warriorâ will creep in in time and that I will be able to help others as others are atm so kindly helping me.
Poll, sorry to hear that you are a bit tearful, fingers crossed you will feel better soon. Feeling useful (or even less than useless) is an amazing tonic. Your wisdom and thoughtfulness are highly valued and should make you feel a bit better too.
I am sure that you and others will help Rupert to find that chink of light which is always to be found no matter how dark the tunnel gets.
Self pity and being miserable are perfectly normal and reasonable responses to a crappy situation. In my experience it can be valuable to have the odd wallow and or rant. I have subsequently learned that too much of a wallow becomes a bit destructive and self fulfilling, so eventually I started to notice some of the good stuff again. I have never been able to turn off my tinnitus by using therapies or mindfulness BUT the exercise did take my mind to other places where I had some great times so distraction can be helpful.
I really hope that you feel less bad soon, I agree with some of the earlier comments in that if you can establish a bit of control of the depression (or your âcoping processâ ) you will be able to cope much more easily with each ânew normalâ I suggest you let go of the stuff you are unable to deal with right now and go back to them when you are stronger.
Hi Rupert. I know how you feel. I was only diagnosed a few months ago. The despair you feel will be making your symptoms worse so do try and sort that side of it (easier said than done!) People on here are so knowledgeable and kind. They afford us time that I find doctors donât! I hope you feel a bit better soon, it quite a shock! Big hugs Julie xx
thanks for your reply and your kind words. Im sorry to hear about your diagnosis. How are u doing atm? Yes, the people on the site have been great. Whereas, Ive had almost no information from the doctors so far. I know stress will make it worse but the stress and anxiety now seems completely out of control. If the symptoms stopped getting worse, I think it would be easier. Atm Im kind of waiting to see (literally) what new visual disturbance my brain will dream up. In the last few days Ive been âgiftedâ blue peripheral vision., Would be quite pretty if itI could turn it on and off. Anyway, thanks again and please take care and let me know how u are doing.
I had a bad period which lasted 9 months when I first got the news about RRMS - a mix of anxiety and disappointment - but my GP, MS Nurses and councelling helped me more than pills.
I reframed my life, did things I would never had time to do before.
I know there are physical limits and horrid symptoms - but be pragmatic - seek technologies that might help you or people that can give you the support you need.
When you have relapses and steroids - you will want to eat more and gain weight - lay off the sweets and ice cream.
Actually try to avoid steroids if you can - they mess your mind up.
Make sure you stay in touch with your GP and MS Nurse during these relapses and get the rehabilitation team to see you about physio and home adaptations when needed.
Exercise is very important and just a sensible diet, as you become less mobile you will gain weight very easily. Iâve just lost 11 kg though, which I gained during my last two relapses, and am feeling so much better.
For me studying online and hobbies art and drawing helped me so much.
I have found, if you are interested in something, you can always find someone, who shares the same interest.
So try something new.
And of course do your ESA and PIP. You will find plenty of advice on that here too. With your sight problems you might need to give up driving yourself and get extra help or get a mobility scooter, PIP would help with mobility costs.