Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?
A: It depends how hard you throw them.
Q: What is the definition of a “lucky break”?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
Q: What is the definition of a “crying shame”?
A: There was an empty seat.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall?
A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
Q: What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter’s roster, God calls Satan; “It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer.”
“Yeah,” Satan replies. “All the more for me!”
God replies, “You better send them up here immediately.”
Satan says, “No way. I’m keeping them.”
God says, “Send them up here, or I’ll sue the horns right off you.”
Satan laughs uproariously, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”