Although I am now a part-time wheelchair user, and on my best days, I can still walk a bit with at least one walking stick (usually two), I cannot classify myself as "disabled" - I find it really difficult to admit that I need help because "I'm disabled" to people on the phone.  Am I just being stubborn?

Luisa x

Mebbee you are, I dunno ! I am disabled and I don`t mind admitting it. But using that word can conjour up the wrong impression when on the phone and folk can`t actually see you, eh? I try not to sound disabled................there`s a can of worms opening do you sound either disabled/not disabled!

luv Pollx

I dunno.

Depends whether you actually NEED the help or not?

If not, then sometimes better not to mention it.

I recently enrolled for a (short) OU course.  During the enrolment, they asked if I had any "special needs" they ought to be aware of.

Thinking that a relapse might strike at any time, and cause me to miss an assignment or something, I thought it best to mention up-front that I have MS, as that would be more plausible than only raising it when I'm about to miss a deadline - or have already done so.

So anyway...the result?  I get a great big form to fill in about "my needs", and a list of all the "help" that is available - none of which applies to me or I'd qualify for.

I read that "in no circumstances" will an extension be granted to coursework, so it's a complete waste of time having told them I've a tendency to get ill without warning.  It will be tough luck if that happens.

So I wish I'd never mentioned it at all.  Got a load of useless bureaucracy to fill in, none of which I can be bothered with - and with a deadline of three weeks.

Now getting reminders about "We still haven't heard from you about your needs".  I'm not doing it!  There aren't any needs they can help with anyway.  I just wanted it on record I was ill, in case I should start struggling with the course.

Should have kept my mouth shut!


Nah, me too.  Im often in pain, have great difficulty with lots of things, but tend to swear under my breath because I dont want to be disabled in any way.  Its rather like us arguing with ourselves for our shortcomings.


In one way being stubborn is a good thing because it brings with it a spirit of: Ill not give up regardless.


One negative is people dare not help voluntary because they feel they may offend.  Cant really win, I think sometimes we have to bite the bullet and ask for help when we need it or struggle on knowing we are not the same as before and may never be.


We didnt ask to be disabled by this darn disease, but it sure wont win in my opinion.  You are definitely not alone in your thinking.


Take care,



Hi Tina, it seems to be damned if you and damned if you don`t!

Good luck with the course. What is it?

luv Pollx