Dark thoughts

Been like this now for good few months. Sick of the doctors sick of the hospitals sick of hearing the words “multiple sclerosis” and wake up daily saying what’s the point wishing I didn’t wake up.

It just seems this illness has took away everything and can’t see a light ahead of the tunnel or the direction to move forward. I wanted the old me back but is never going to happen. But don’t like the new me with this rotten condition.

Hospitals and gps just talk and doesn’t solve anything.

Just been wondering to bloody just down all the pills all at once. But not got the courage to do that.

Seriously is this common to be like this looking at four walls, sick to death at everything and not seeing any hope going forward but just more misery?

The last insult was my mobility now being pushed on to a mobility scooter. Constant rows with people around me not accepting things have changed. My energy levels constantly at “nil” forcing me to sleep irregularly and when do sleep often awaken with the pain and spascity. I just don’t see any light in it all and everyone saying well it’s expected but to me it’s not expected as I didn’t want this didn’t choose this and just pray inside myself it eats me up and not to wake up.

Is it common to be like this? Really really sick of it all?

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Understand completely and feel free to share on here and please speak to someone on a mental health team and even if you have to take a tablet or speak to someone regarding your mental health and wellbeing - Good luck

I feel the same, just day after day of absolute crap. GP was next to useless and neurologist has cancelled my appointment twice. I want to scream, shout and swear.

I’m really sorry to hear you feel this way, my friend.
What keeps me going now is fomo tbh.
Miracles do happen and I just keep fingers X that I will wake up from this constant nightmare by tomorrow.
I wish you all the best,
JP